RelationShipwreck
by Tyigra
Summary: Sequel to "Trainwreck on Kamabakka." Sanji learns something as he and Zoro hitchhike across the Grand Line: the best way to learn is to teach. SanjixZoro, rampant OCs with Issues. Complete!
1. Wishing For a Breath of Air

This story is a sequel to "Trainwreck on Kamabakka." It will also be 8 chapters long, although the chapters will be longer.

Summary: Sanji learns something as he and Zoro hitchhike across the Grand Line: the best way to learn is to teach. SanjixZoro, rampant OCs with Issues

Standard Disclaimer: One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda, but he is such a good person he lets us fangirls have our wicked way with it.

Third-person subjective. ZoroxSanji

* * *

RelationShipwreck

A One Piece Fanfiction by Tyigra

Chapter 1: Wishing For a Breath of Air

Sanji was bored.

The kitchen of the _Seeking Sea King_, the two-masted schooner that he and Zoro were currently hitching a ride on, was adequate for everyday use, but lacked the tools for some of the fancier treats he liked to whip up between meals. But then again, there were no women on the vessel, the last one having given up the wandering life of a sailor to get married long before Sanji came on board. There was no point in cooking delicacies for a bunch of men.

Which was why Sanji found himself sitting on a barrel, chin upon his arms on the railing, watching the water flow by. Bored.

_Oh, how I miss having Nami and Robin to cook for. Or Usopp for some crazy tales to listen to. Or Luffy to cause some mayhem. If Brook were here there'd at least be some music. Franky… Chopper… I miss you guys…_

It wasn't that the crewmen of the merchant ship were _dull_, exactly. Sanji was just used to much _livelier_ fare.

And then there was Zoro. The annoying bastard had the ability to be perfectly content no matter where he was, even if his present location was a _sailboat_ on an ocean with _no wind_. The musclebrain was currently on his _n_-hundredth rep of swinging-his-swords-around-like-a-crazy-person, as if he would somehow lose his edge if he ever paused for a break. Just _hearing_ him made Sanji irritated, completely ruining whatever relaxation he might have gotten from watching the soothing waves.

His patience snapping, Sanji got up from his seat and stomped over to where Zoro stood, shirtless and drenched in sweat. The swordsman paused his movements, apparently noticing the menacing waves of doom radiating off his back like a dark sun, and turned to cast an eye over the source.

"What?" he asked, brazenly unapologetic. Sanji couldn't find the words to properly express his anger so he settled for sneering in silence, body tense as a bristling cat.

Zoro casually sheathed his swords and located his towel, wiping the sweat from his face before it could drip into his eyes, which never strayed far from his interrupter. As if finally noticing the weather for the first time, he whipped the towel around the back of his neck and remarked, "Wow. It's really calm today, isn't it?"

_Hatehatehatehatehate—_

"At this rate it's going to be weeks before we reach the next island."

_HateHateHateHateHate—_

"Huh. Well. I guess that means I've got plenty of time to lift some weights, then."

As soon as he began turning away Sanji struck, a flying kick aimed straight for his head. Zoro met the thick boot heel with the flat of his blade and it was on. Heads peered out from open doors and around sails to see what all the racket was, only to shake in amusement. Some of the sailors went back to what they were doing, but most stayed to enjoy the show. After all, watching two people as amazingly skilled as their hitchhikers fight never got boring.

Even if this was the fifth time today.

* * *

Zoro was having a blast.

The wounds from his two altercations with Bartholomew Kuma were as good as healed by now, and he was determined to make up for lost time. Truth be told, he'd been rather poor company since he began his solitary journey back to the archipelago. Worry over the state of his companions gnawed at him, along with the ever-present guilt that perhaps everything was his fault. He hadn't been strong enough, and after recovering from his injuries he felt even weaker. Healing had taken a toll on his body, and he would have to train twice as hard just to catch up to where he'd been, much less surpass it.

And while he was willing to do nothing but practice the basics and train his muscles until the crew was reunited once more, it was a lot more helpful and _fun_ to have a worthy sparing partner. He doubted Sanji would fulfill such a roll if asked, just to spite him, but fortunately he didn't have to. The cook was running even more hot and cold than usual; when he wasn't pretending Zoro didn't exist, he was seeking him out to vent his frustrations.

He had reason to be irritable. Despite Zoro's badgering of any witnesses, he could not escape the obvious. Sanji had joined the crew while the ship was docked at Kamabakka Kingdom. Conclusions were going to be drawn. And the longer they were stuck in the middle of the ocean, the more prying questions he had to endure before he and Zoro could hitch a new ride.

Which was why Zoro was currently fending off a veritable whirlwind of feet. If the cook attacked him any faster, the guy was going to be filling the empty sails by his own power. A strike toward his head was parried with a blade, his counterattack dodged by a nimble weave which flowed into a spin, which he blocked just before the heel could collide with his ribs. Sanji pushed off the blade, using the momentum to flip backwards onto his hands and whirl his feet around, so that his whole body spun barely a foot off the ground as he aimed for Zoro's feet. The swordsman leaped into the air even as he swung two swords straight down, which Sanji slid right between with a handspring straight into the air. He struck out in the middle of his flip, narrowly missing Zoro's face when he jerked backwards. Landing on his hands once more, Sanji propelled himself into the broader man's chest, hoping to knock him down while he was still off balance. Zoro toppled over backwards, but used his momentum to turn the fall into a backwards somersault, taking the blond with him. Landing on his stomach, Sanji rolled to dislodge the swordsman from his legs and sprang backwards, breathing hard.

Zoro climbed to his feet, lungs heaving as well. They eyed each other as they paused to catch their breath, still ready to fly into action at the slightest twitch. The hair that usually framed Sanji's face was damp with sweat, tangled and clinging to his skin. Still no breeze stirred from the ocean to cool their blood, and the fairer man's skin was flush from his exertions under the heat of the day. Zoro found his concentration wavering as he watched a bead of sweat trail over the glowing skin, trickling down the neck and pausing to rest on a sharp collarbone.

_--Sanji unresisting in his embrace as he nuzzled into the crook of that pale neck, enveloped in the scent of nicotine and alcohol--_

Zoro twitched in astonishment at the image that suddenly popped into his head. _What the hell was that? Have I been in the sun too long?_

_That's not a… memory… is it?_

Suddenly Sanji was right in front of him, and just as suddenly Zoro was on the deck, staring up at the sky. Sanji smirked down at his stunned expression.

"I hope you don't go around navel gazing on the battlefield, Marimo. Care to enlighten me on what's so much more interesting then our fight?"

"Nothing," Zoro responded too quickly, averting his gaze. Sanji narrowed his eyes. "Must be a pretty big 'nothing,' if you can't even look me in the face."

"Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?"

"It's not time to start dinner yet. Don't change the subject."

"What about all your stupid snacks?"

"For this lot? And don't insult my cooking, crap-for-brains."

"You could try to make friends with them, you know."

"Like you have?"

"That's different."

"How?"

"You're the friendly type. It's easy for you."

Sanji blinked in surprise. Sitting on his haunches beside him, he peered down into Zoro's face. "Does this have anything to do with your drunken ramblings?"

"What…what ramblings? What did I say?"

"Nothing," Sanji replied, copying him perfectly. Zoro growled. Somehow the conversation had come full circle, right back to the same uncomfortable subject. They glared at each other, Zoro sitting back up and folding his legs without breaking eye contact, both waiting for the other to blink.

Their staring contest probably would have lasted until Sanji had to leave to prepare dinner, if not for the fact that a young sailor suddenly fell from the boom above them and landed on his back a few feet away with a loud thud.

* * *

Once again I have a highly misleading summary. Also, I liked the poem chapter titles so much I decided to do the same thing for this story too. Hopefully I won't lose all my readers thanks to the shift from humor to drama, and the addition of OCs. It's hard to sail a large boat with only two characters. :P

So... have I jumped the shark?


	2. To Move My Errant Heart Along

RelationShipwreck

Chapter 2: To Move My Errant Heart Along

The boy coughed as he regained the breath that had been knocked out of him. A sense of impending doom quickly snapped him out of his disorientation as he noticed the two men staring down at him.

"I-I wasn't eavesdropping! I was checking the knots on the sail! Honest! Please don't kill me…"

Sanji sighed. The freckle-faced, brown haired kid couldn't be more than fourteen, and looked like he was about to wet his pants. "We're not going to kill you."

"Please don't beat me up!"

"We're not going to beat you up! Geeze, kid, grow a pair."

"Please don't… make me your cabin boy?"

"Are you _trying_ to piss me off?" Sanji snapped. Zoro snickered. "I think he likes you."

"I don't!" the boy squeaked vehemently as he turned red, inching backwards away from Sanji when it appeared the blond was going to lose it after all.

"Frey!"

Another boy suddenly dropped down from the rigging that led to the crow's nest, darting in between the freckle-faced boy and Sanji. "I'm so sorry, please forgive this idiot. He was dropped on his head as a child. Also he was raised by wolves. And ate paint chips."

"Joss," the first boy hissed as he climbed to his feet. Joss grabbed his shoulders and started steering him away.

"So, if you'll find it in your hearts to let this slide, we'll just be on our way. _Right_, Frey?" Frey did not look as if he appreciated having his imminent destruction waived, but allowed the dirty-blond haired boy to escort him below deck to safety. Zoro and Sanji watched them go in silence.

"Huh," the cook finally said.

"See? People fall out of the sky to be your friend."

Sanji rolled his eyes and pulled out a cigarette. "I'm going to go clean off. You can go back to contemplating your sad, pathetic existence or whatever it was you were doing."

"Asshole."

Sanji flashed him a strange smile—partly fond and partly exasperated, with a touch of pity—and walked away. Zoro shrugged after a moment and returned to his exercises, puzzling over what the hell that look was supposed to mean.

* * *

Mealtimes had become the highlight of the day since Sanji joined the ship. Captain Seeker had a much larger crew than Luffy did, but the rubber-man ate as much as twenty people so the quantity of food Sanji had to prepare had not changed. The only difference was that he now had to keep in mind a much wider and more varied selection of food preferences. They'd only been at sea for a few days, but he'd already got a feel for each crewmember's palate and kept a mental checklist of what they consumed each meal so he could make sure they got a balanced diet.

After checking the serving table one last time, Sanji stepped up on the deck and rang the dinner bell. Immediately sailors began popping out of the woodwork and sliding down the rigging, except for the unlucky ones whose turn it was to keep things running until their relief was done eating. Watching them eagerly mill inside, the cook singled out the two boys that had interrupted him earlier.

"Joss, Frey." They paused, surprised to be addressed by name. "You're on serving duty." With that he spun and walked back inside, smugly listening to their groans.

Dinner was in full swing by the time Zoro finished cleaning off and joined the mess hall. Upon noticing the two boys who were helping dish out the first round of food, he raised an eyebrow at Sanji. "Vengeful little minx, aren't we?

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied innocently. "And don't even think about sneaking past the vegetables, Breadon, you didn't eat any yesterday." The man next to Zoro jumped guiltily, then allowed his plate to be filled and continued down the line with a sulky expression. "Don't slip them to someone else, either. I'll know."

"Truly, you rule the lunch line with fear," Zoro chuckled as he heaped his plate high with meat. The next man in line, an overweight slob with lips too large for his face tried to do the same, but got his hands swatted away with a pair of tongs. "How come he gets more than anyone else?" he griped.

Sanji gave the man a level stare. "Because he burns 10 times the fuel you do. If I catch you working out nonstop from dusk 'til dawn, then perhaps you can get larger portions too."

"_Tch_, I bet he just keeps you warm at niGWAH!" The man went flying clear across the room, safely over the tables to crash into the far wall. The cook carefully lowered his boot back under the serving table and flashed an aggressive glare to anyone who dared look. The crew quickly went back to stuffing their faces. Sanji turned to one of the boys he'd roped into kitchen duty. "Make sure he gets his plate once he wakes up."

"Yes sir!"

"I'll save you a seat," Zoro said with a grin as he moved down the line. The blond merely shrugged as he turned to the next person.

* * *

Zoro had already finished his plate by the time Sanji sat down with his, but it was all right because the cook brought his seconds, too. With an exaggerated sigh, Sanji began eating.

"Is it safe to assume there's a reason for today's extra crankiness, or is it just that time of the month?" Zoro asked, before immediately suffering an agonizing pain in his shins.

"Did you know my stuff had been rooted through this morning?"

"Hadn't noticed," he replied through gritted teeth as the sting subsided.

"My guess is they were looking for evidence. Really, if I were an okama I'd be dressed up _now_, not hiding dresses in my luggage!"

"They'll get bored with the idea eventually."

"They'd better."

It was a strange agreement they'd slipped into regarding Sanji's experience marooned in Kamabakka. As long as Sanji was the one who brought up the subject, they were allowed to talk about it. No mention was ever made of their altercation at the end of their "date," though.

They ate in silence for a minute or two, until the freckle-faced boy suddenly took a seat on the bench across from Sanji. The two nakama paused in mid-bite as Frey proceeded to eat as if what he'd done was perfectly normal, despite the fact that his face was dead white aside from the high flush on his cheeks.

Sanji stared blandly. Zoro stared coolly. Joss, who was still standing with a plate of food several feet away, stared in horror. Frey stared stubbornly at the food he was trying, with trembling hands, to consume.

"So, how goes your training, marimo?" Sanji asked after a moment, and life returned to the table once more. The boy let out a shaky breath and gestured for his friend to join them.

"Still got a long way to go," Zoro growled. Joss, somewhat apprehensively, took the seat across from him. "I swear, when we run into Kuma again I'm going to kick his ass!"

"Kuma?" Joss asked.

"Bartholomew Kuma. Big guy, bear paws, totes a Bible around—"

"No way! You've fought with a Shichibukai?!" The two stared up at him, eyes wide, while Zoro paused uncomfortably.

"Twice," Sanji added helpfully. "Kuma's not the only one, either." Zoro shot him a dark look as adoration started to creep across the boy's expressions, but the blond merely grinned. "Weren't you just complaining that you don't make friends easily?"

"What, really?" Joss looked shocked. Sanji refrained from pointing out that the boys had been terrified of him mere minutes ago. "We'll be your friends, right Frey?" The other boy nodded emphatically, freckles barely visible under his vivid blush. Zoro sighed in defeat.

A few more sailors were shuffling in, the ones just released from watch. Frey glanced over at them before turning back to Sanji. "Some of our friends just came in, can they join us?"

"Sure, the more the merrier," the cook replied with a laugh. "Go serve them real quick and bring them back here." The boys dashed away from their plates, grinning.

As soon as they were gone, Zoro turned to his nakama and arched an eyebrow. "I thought you weren't interested in making friends on this ship?"

"I changed my mind when I realized I could annoy you more this way," he said smugly, making Zoro scowl. The cook clapped his hands together under his chin and leaned toward him, eye wide with mock adoration. "Zoro-san, Zoro-san, tell us about your adventures! Ooh, can we see your scars? Can we touch your swords?"

"Oi, cut that out!" Zoro said a touch breathlessly, turning red as he leaned away. It was at this point that a shadow fell over them and they looked up at the man who dared interrupt them.

"Hi. I'm Frey's older brother, Paul." Paul did not sound enthused to be making their acquaintance. In fact, he sounded downright bitter.

Paul was also the person who had witnessed their misadventure at the bar, and been threatened by Zoro into silence.

Sanji suddenly realized how bad their current position looked, and jolted back. He grabbed his mug and took a drink to hide his embarrassment.

_Well, crap._

Joss, Frey, and two other young men came rushing up to the table.

"Zoro-san, tell us about your adventures!"

"Do you have scars?"

"Can I see your swords?"

Sanji snorted into his drink.

* * *

Yay, the OC's have been introduced; all six of them, only three of whom were named in this chapter. Not counting Breadon, though, he's nobody. Poor Breadon.

Sunday is my birthday! I will be turning Old. If you wish to give me a gift for my Oldieth birthday, I accept reviews... :D


	3. Longing for a Different Ocean

RelationShipwreck

Chapter 3: Longing for a Different Ocean

The rest of the sailors had left, having finished off every last crumb. Clean up was moving unusually fast, thanks in part to all the extra hands, and in part because time flies when you're having fun. Though Joss and Frey had reacted like typical teenagers when Sanji first ordered them to help, by the time dinner was over they were volunteering their services. Their friends, perhaps two or three years older, stayed as well so they wouldn't be left out. Zoro was still there because Sanji wouldn't let him duck away, and Paul remained to cast a dark cloud over everyone's cheer.

"So, uh… what brings all of you to the glamorous life of legal sailing at your age?" Sanji enquired. The boys exchanged glances, and he realized he might have asked a loaded question.

"I'm here 'cause Dad and Paul are," Frey replied first, gesturing to his brother. "When Mom died there was no one else to leave me with, so Seeker hired me on."

"I'm here because Frey's mom took me in before she got sick," Joss said. He did not elaborate.

Royal, a young man with long black hair tied in a ponytail and ears that stuck out, finished drying the plate he was holding and set it on the stack. "I ran away to see the world," he said dreamily.

The other young man, a gentle giant named Moose, smiled. "I wanted to learn a different craft than farming. I still see my parents and sister whenever we dock back home."

"How about you two?" Paul finally spoke. "How did you end up pirates?"

Sanji chuckled, glancing over at Zoro. "Our captain doesn't take 'no' for an answer."

"He dragged half of us into the crew kicking and screaming." He paused, then smirked. "I seem to recall there was an awful lot crying on _your_ part..."

"WHAT? There was _not_!" the cook shouted, turning a touch red. "How would you know, you weren't even _there_!"

"Hmmm, Yosaku might have mentioned it…"

"I'll kill him! _You_ be quiet!" Sanji threatened, gripping onto Zoro's collar when he dared to snort in disbelief. The boys started laughing, their good humor contagious enough to calm the blond down.

One person wasn't laughing, though. "So, what's your sister's name?"

"What? I don't have a—"

"Suzy," Zoro interrupted. Sanji froze as he realized how close he'd come to blowing his cover story.

"Ha ha. Yes. Suzy." He ignored Paul's narrow-eyed stare as he cast about for something else to talk about. Absolutely nothing came to mind.

"So how does your ship deal with pirates?" Zoro asked, even though he probably already knew the answer. Sanji cast him a grateful look before hopping on the subject. "Say, yeah. A merchant ship like this would be a prime target for the raiding type, yet you don't have very many cannons."

"We get by with speed!" Joss said proudly. "This ship is small and light enough to make use of the slightest breeze!"

"And if wind fails, we have the propeller," Moose mentioned quietly.

"Yeah," the others agreed, with far less enthusiasm.

"Propeller?" Sanji groaned. "You mean we could've been moving all this time instead of stuck in dead calm?"

"It's just for emergencies. After all, it takes all of us to operate it." Seeing the blond's blank look, Joss elaborated. "It's human powered. It would weigh the ship down too much and take up too much storage space if it ran on fuel."

"Rabid Dan invented it. It's the only reason Captain Seeker doesn't kick him off," Royal mentioned bitterly. There was a collective sigh.

"Rabid Dan… isn't he the one I just kicked across the room at dinner? The fat, lewd one?"

"That's him, alright," Royal continued, twirling his ponytail around his finger. "He's the reason none of us go anywhere on the ship alone. He's tolerable on land, but a few days at sea and he starts getting an 'itch.' A few more days and anyone our age or pretty enough had better watch their backs."

Zoro opened his mouth to take a jab at Sanji, but stopped. A sour, bitter look had twisted across his features, curly eyebrow drawn tight and lips pursed into a frown. "You just let me know if he tries to pull anything while I'm here," he said. "I'll kick his ass." Zoro stared at his nakama thoughtfully as the boys put away the last of the dishes.

"Well, that's that. You gentlemen have any other duties this evening?"

"No, this is our free time."

"And you spent it on kitchen duty?"

"It's alright, we wanted to talk to you guys more!"

"So generous! Marimo, don't you think so?"

"Hm?" Zoro looked up from the speck on the floor he'd been glaring at, distracted. "Sure."

"It's settled, then. Go show off your swords."

"What?" Zoro's exclamation was drowned out in cheers as he was surrounded. He glared at Sanji over their heads.

"Come on, you know it's what they really wanted!" the cook grinned, waving his hand encouragingly. The boys tugged and pushed Zoro out to the deck, laughing at his discomfort.

"Fine, fine," the swordsman finally caved, his voice drifting in through the door. "You can look, but don't touch."

"Eeeeeeeh?"

"Well… you're definitely not touching Sandai Kitetsu, anyway. It's cursed."

"Woah, really!"

Sanji chucked to himself as he finished wiping off the last counter. He turned around and nearly ran into Paul, who was standing right behind him. Barely restraining from letting out an undignified noise in his surprise, he pasted on an indifferent look. "What?"

Paul was wearing a troubled frown, and looked like he wanted to say something before he changed his mind. "Nothing," he muttered before walking away.

The cook watched him go, picking up the strangest impression that Paul was disappointed in him for some reason.

* * *

"He was a beauty," Zoro said, a touch sadly. His attentive audience leaned forward, hanging on his every word. "But he met his end when I went up against a marine with the devil fruit ability to rust metal."

The green-haired man was sitting cross-legged, leaning against the foremast, surrounded by the four boys. Paul had emerged and once again lurked nearby, listening but not participating. A few other sailors lingered around as well, enjoying his stories. "After that I received this sword as a gift from an honorable warrior," he explained as he held up the dark scabbard covered in peace symbols. "His name is Shuusui." He partially drew the blade, letting them admire its deep, dark colors. "He's in bad temper again today, though, so I'd best keep him sheathed for now." He put it away with a soft click.

"Zoro-san," Frey asked shyly, "how come you call all your swords 'he' accept for the white one?"

"Because their previous owners were male, except for hers," he said as if it were obvious. Bringing out the white-dressed weapon, he gazed at it with a fond look. "Wadō Ichimonji is special. Her late owner was the one I made my vow to: to become the world's greatest swordsman. I have to take her with me all the way to the top."

After a moment of silence, Zoro looked up to realize his audience was getting teary-eyed. "All right, enough show and tell," he said gruffly as he stood. "Time to get back to training."

"But you've done nothing but work out _all day_!" Joss exclaimed. "Shouldn't you relax before you hit the sack?"

"I can't slack off if I want to keep my promise. Besides, this _is_ how I relax." He gave the young men a nod of dismissal as he walked away, not particularly caring if they stayed to watch or not as long as they were quiet. The ship was woefully lacking in weights for working out with, but he had made due so far by improvising. Since the cannons weren't the first line of defense, Captain Seeker had given him permission to use two of them as long as they didn't get damaged and he put them back properly after each use. Retrieving the long steel pole he had acquired just for this purpose, he slid the barrel of a cannon over each end and bound them in place to keep them from slipping off. Instant barbells. Admittedly they still weren't as heavy as his weights back on the Sunny, but they were solid iron cannons; that had to count for _something_. Setting his swords reverently aside, he hoisted the contraption in the air and began a set of reps.

Contrary to the opinions of certain condescending, blond-haired idiots, Zoro's mind did not cease to function when he was working out. In fact, it was when he did some of his best thinking; distractions faded into the background as he slipped into his groove, while his mind raced thanks to his increased heart rate and surge of endorphins. As a pleasant burn started to work through his muscles, he let his mind wander and his thoughts ponder over the day's events.

Sanji. Now that he'd relaxed enough to make a few friends, perhaps the cook would stop being so temperamental, looking for judgment in every eye and insinuations on every tongue. Even if the entire crew knew about his crossdressing stint, they wouldn't say anything about it _now_. They'd seen him and Zoro fight and knew they couldn't compare, and if fear wasn't enough, they'd tasted Sanji's cooking. If they teased the blond about anything now, it would not be in malice. They liked him. Despite his sharp temper, Sanji was a likable person.

As if summoned, the object of his thoughts came up on deck for his evening smoke. Sanji gave him a brief glance before taking a seat on the barrel he had claimed as his chair, leaning back against the railing and watching the low-hanging sun. His legs were crossed casually, his dark suit providing a sharp contrast against the muted colors of the wooden ship.

_He looks better this way_, Zoro surprised himself by thinking. _He may have made a pretty okama, but his stupid tailored suits are better for defining graceful lines and long forms. You wouldn't store a katana in a lumpy leather bag, no matter how fancy the leatherwork might be._

_Heh. I wonder what Sanji would think if he knew I was comparing his clothes to a scabbard? It's not that much of a stretch; his body is his weapon, after all._

Completely unbidden, a scene popped into Zoro's head; him sitting cross-legged on the grassy deck of the Thousand Sunny, putting down the oil and powder after giving one of his katanas a thorough cleaning. Suddenly a shirtless Sanji sprawled across his lap, baring his back for Zoro's hands. Twisting his head around to pin Zoro's gaze with a half-lidded eye, he uttered two words.

"Me next."

Zoro very nearly dropped the cannons through the deck.

_What._

_The._

_Hell?_

_

* * *

_

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes! :D

To answer those who were wondering; don't worry, this story will still be plenty funny. The reason it's categorized as drama instead of humor is because, unlike the crossdressing theme of the prequel, the plot _itself_ is no longer the source of the humor.

And now all the important OCs have been introduced. Don't worry, they won't hog the proverbial camera much. Royal's name actually started as Regal, but mutated halfway down the page and I decided to run with it. And what is Paul's deal? Aren't you intrigued? Don't you want to guess? Don't you want to leave me a review? :P


	4. Than the Seas I'm Sailing On

RelationShipwreck

Chapter 4: Than the Seas I'm Sailing On

_What's wrong with me?_

Zoro lay awake in bed, sweating buckets. In the bunk above him he could hear Sanji's soft snores, so he knew his nakama was still sleeping peacefully.

_Unlike me. What the hell kind of dream was _that_?_

When he lost the fight with Sanji that afternoon thanks to strange thoughts of _collarbones_ and _nuzzling_, he chalked it up to a bit of leftover crazy from his drunken escapade.

When the blond teased him at dinner about what the boys would ask him, and his mock-questions turned lewd in his mind, Zoro felt a bit concerned. It was odd for him to twist innocent remarks like that.

When Sanji's face darkened upon hearing the young sailors speak of their molesting crewmate, the swordsman wondered if some of his nakama's defensiveness came from past harassment. Even though he was confident Sanji could take care of himself, he filled with anger instead of amusement, and the change confused him.

When the calm of his evening training was shattered by a flight of fancy that could be described at best as _disturbing_, and at worse _perverse_, it was safe to say he was feeling alarmed.

After this dream though, panic was beginning to look like the right word.

It flashed through his thoughts again, blatantly ignoring his attempts to clear his mind. He was on the deck, battling with Sanji, when the blond suddenly sent him careening onto his back. As his vision cleared from the knock on his noggin, he realized that Sanji was leaning over him—no, he was _straddling him—_all sweaty and flushed and gasping from his exertions. A long fingered hand reached out to touch the tip of the scar that marked his chest, and traced it down, down, down to his hip. Sanji's hand paused there, while the other splayed onto the deck to support the cook as he leaned over and whispered into his ear.

"Say, _Zoro_…" his breath tickled his earlobe as Sanji actually addressed him by name. "Can I touch your _sword_?"

It was at this point that Zoro had awoken with a start, partly because he was hard as _hell_, but mostly because it was too much for his suspension of disbelief. He sat up, holding his head and trying to get rid of his _problem_ through sheer willpower. The swordsman had always avoided entanglements of the sexual nature, believing that the path to becoming the World's Greatest would only come through a single-minded dedication and passion to his art.

Now he was starting to wonder if he was just repressed. He was fantasizing about _Sanji_, for crying out loud! The most irritating bastard he ever had the displeasure of getting saddled with! Moody, two-faced, girl-obsessed, vengeful, crazy—

-Strong, agile, powerful, challenging—

_Cut that out_, Zoro ordered his betraying mind. Honestly, just because the cook was his only nakama present didn't mean he had to be nice to him, much less praise him in his private thoughts.

-Good looking.

_What? No. Just because he has nice hair doesn't mean I find him attractive. Just look at that stupid eyebrow!_

-Lean.

_Fine, I can admit that one. There's a lot of muscle packed into that skinny frame. Are you done now?_

Silence.

_Good_. He flopped back onto his bed, determined to return to sleep. It was only a few hours until dawn, and he planned to be up and training by the light of the sun's first rays. The sheets were still warm, if a bit damp from sweat, and he waited for their softness and the gentle rocking of the ship to lull him back to unconsciousness.

-Flex-i-ble.

A hundred dirty images involving long, pale legs in unlikely positions flooded his brain. Zoro leaped out of bed, barely avoiding tripping over his sheet as he stormed out of the sleeping quarters for the bathroom, cursing the entire way.

Whatever it was that possessed him to lock lips with Sanji that drunken night in Kamabakka, it seemed to have unlocked a floodgate he hadn't even known he was holding closed.

* * *

Dawn came, dreary and drizzly and exactly like Zoro's mood. He stood on the deck, once again endlessly moving through the forms with his swords. By the time Sanji emerged from below for his morning smoke, he had slipped into the calm, controlled zone he usually found so easy to obtain. The blond flicked his lighter and stared up at the foreboding clouds with a frown.

"Well, at least we may finally get some wind so this ship can start moving."

Swish, swish, swish. Zoro tried to ignore the feeling of Sanji's eyes on his back. There was nothing different about them. Only his perception of them had changed.

"You look tired."

He paused, turning in slow motion to glare at the cook. Sanji absorbed the look, completely unfazed. He took one last drag on the cigarette before tossing it into the ocean. "Come on into the kitchen, I'll fix you a pick-me-up." He walked away before Zoro could refuse, so the green-haired man had little choice but to follow.

The mess hall was dimly lit despite the numerous portholes, thanks to the storm clouds hiding the sun. Sanji flicked on a few of the mechanical lamps as he moved into the kitchen, Zoro dragging his feet behind him. He really didn't want to be alone with the object of his consternation right now.

"So… should I be thanking Captain Seeker and his lack of female crewmembers for your newfound generosity?"

The cook didn't bother taking his eyes off the fruits and vegetables he had selected, quickly chopping them up and mashing them together. "Can't I take an interest in a nakama's health when he obviously isn't feeling well?"

"You _can_…"

For some reason, this made the blond grin. Stirring the disgusting looking mixture up with water and some alcohol, he poured it into a large mug and presented it to the frowning swordsman. "But I'm nice to everyone but you?"

Zoro paused in the middle of taking the mug, staring in surprise at the cook.

"It's what you said when you were drunk," he clarified, amused. "I had no idea you had such thin skin."

"I do _not_," Zoro retorted, snatching the mug and chugging down its lumpy contents. Sanji grinned wider, waiting in anticipation.

He was not disappointed. Zoro lowered the drink with a look of disgust plastered across his face. "What the hell _is_ this crap?"

"I told you, a pick-me-up. Don't you feel more awake now?"

Zoro scowled, but couldn't deny it. "I think I'd rather have been tired, thanks." He shrugged off Sanji's smug amusement and slunk back up to the deck to resume his katas. It was still drizzly and damp, which reminded him that he would need to oil his swords soon to protect them from rusting, which reminded him of yesterday's daydream. He sighed in frustration.

It seemed karma had it out for his ass.

* * *

Sanji's grin faded as he washed off the knives he'd used. _It would be so much easier if Zoro really was just sick_, he thought with a sigh. _Easily distracted, losing his rhythm, tossing and turning at night… I wonder how much longer I have before he figures out the root of his problem?_

_What will I do then? What will _he_ do?_

Amusing as it was to see Zoro losing his cool and know that he caused it, the fact remained that it was still a serious dilemma. Sanji liked women, and Zoro liked… men? Not that the cook had ever seen the swordsman look lustfully at _anyone_. Battle-lust, maybe. He usually fought men, but he wouldn't turn down a fight with a woman either, the bastard. Perhaps he really did expend all his testosterone in fighting; it would explain how he always turned down every opportunity to peep on Nami, even when she was in a flashing mood. Although that also could be because he couldn't afford to go further into debt…

_Mmmmm, Happiness Punch. Best 100,000 beli I've ever been charged!_

_Where was I? Right, Zoro._

Whatever label the marimo fit under wasn't important, really. All that mattered was that it looked like he'd finally noticed someone, and that someone was Sanji. The cook couldn't say that he was squeamish about the concept anymore, because he had _rewired_ that part of his brain just for Zoro's sake, but no amount of mental tinkering could remove his love for the ladies.

_So… what am I going to do?_

Before Sanji could circle through his woes again, he was mercifully interrupted by a head peeking into the kitchen. "Oh, hey there Frey. What can I do for you? Don't tell me you're volunteering for kitchen duty again?"

"Maybe?" He scratched his brown hair and as he stared at his shoes. "Would it be alright if I watched you work?"

"Sure, I don't mind. Hop on over here." The freckled face brightened as the teenager moved closer, resting his hands on one of the countertops. He watched quietly as Sanji measured and poured large scoops of flour into several mixing bowls.

"You interested in cooking?" the blond asked after a while.

"N-not really."

"Hmm." Sanji worked a few more minutes in silence.

"So… how long have you and Zoro-san been friends?"

Sanji barked a laugh. "We've _known_ each other for less than a year, though we've had so many adventures it feels like forever. As for us being _friends_… well, I suppose we're closer than we used to be, but we still fight like cats and dogs."

"Why?"

"We just rub each other the wrong way. Too different, I guess."

"Different?"

"He's an uncouth, brainless, work-dodging, brawn-obsessed lout with no respect for the ladies. And no tastebuds."

There was a minute or two of quiet, punctuated only by the sound of a wooden spoon swirling through a bowl of powdery ingredients. Sanji glanced over to see Frey staring downwards, picking listlessly at his shirt.

Sigh. "What?"

"I think he's pretty nice. Now, anyway."

"Now?"

"He was really quiet before. A little scary. When he was supposed to work he worked, but he didn't talk to anyone. He ate by himself, and when he trained he glared at anyone who tried to interrupt."

"_Che_. The bastard was probably just beating himself up over losing. Thinks he's the last line of defense, or something. Don't worry, I'm here now to kick some sense into him whenever he starts brooding over crap like that."

"M-maybe I could… cheer him up?"

The sound of stirring stopped, filling the kitchen with silence. Sanji turned around very slowly, taking in Frey's rapidly deepening blush.

_Oh_._ And here I thought _I_ was the one he liked. Turns out he's just too shy to talk to the real object of his crush._

"And what makes you think," he enquired, crossing his arms and leaning back against the counter, "that Zoro would be interested in that sort of cheering?"

Fidgeting horribly, Frey stared at his toes and mumbled. "My brother said he saw him kiss a male okama while we were at shore."

Sanji was briefly grateful he had put the spoon down, or else he would have snapped it in half. _That's it. Paul's dead._

"He won't talk about it anymore since we set sail, so I guess Zoro-san told him not to."

_Okay, Paul's slightly less dead._

"You've known him for a while, so I was hoping you could tell me if… if… if I have a chance. I mean, I'm not an okama or anything, but I suppose I could try it—"

"Stop."

Frey looked rather relieved to be interrupted before he could ramble himself further into embarrassment. Sanji took a few steps closer, laying a hand on the brown hair and leaning over so he could look into the down-turned eyes.

"I'm sorry, kid, but you're not his type," he said gently but firmly. "Besides, marimo doesn't do anything half-heartedly, and you already have a family and good friends here. Would you really want to leave those bonds to live the dangerous kind of life we do, chasing our dreams?"

The tomato-faced boy looked like he'd rather dash off at this point, but he gave the question proper consideration before shaking his head. "No, I guess not."

Sanji took mercy on the kid and turned back to his cooking so Frey could compose himself. "I seem to running low on baking powder—be a good lad and check the storage room for more, won't you? Don't forget to keep an eye out for Rabid Dan."

The sound of footsteps marked his visitor's eager retreat, leaving the cook alone in an empty kitchen once more. He stared into a mixing bowl, as if looking for answers in the off-white swirls. His imagination failed him, however, because he could not make out a single recognizable shape.

_Teenagers. I'll be so glad when I'm not one anymore._

_

* * *

_Hmmm. I have too much fun with italics.

Next chapter is very long. And action-packed. (Not _that_ kind of action, get your mind out of the gutter.)

As usual, many thanks for your reviews! I really do consider the points you bring up, and have been fitting some of them into later chapters! So by all means, feel free to leave suggestions if you have any. Preferably more helpful than "more man-pr0n." Don't be surprised if I give you a virtual bop on the head for that. :P


	5. Tossed About Like So Much Flotsam

RelationShipwreck

Chapter 5: Tossed About Like So Much Flotsam

_It's the strangest thing. It's not like he's eating any _differently.

And indeed he wasn't. Sanji still cut his food with the proper utensils and brought each perfectly sized bite to his mouth with care. When the motions of the ship, which were growing steadily more violent, threatened to send his glass to the galley floor, it instead found itself journeying to his lips, as if it had always been the cook's intention to take a drink at that particular moment.

But the words that Zoro usually assigned to his nakama's dining habits—_pretentious_ and _prissy_ came to mind—no longer felt like the right adjectives. Now words like _precise_ and _poised_ were trying to slip in instead. Or if he failed to stop them in time, even words like _elegant_ and _graceful_. It was very annoying. He needed to find an adjective that wasn't so flattering. Something appropriate and all-encompassing.

Sanji-like?

_Actually, I can't tell if that's complimentary or derogatory._

_I guess that means it's perfect, then._

The ship tossed again, forcing everyone to keep a tight hold on their food and drinks. In the length of time it had taken for breakfast to be prepared and the crew to file in, the morning drizzle had transformed itself into a pouring rain. Just another day on the mercurial ocean that was the Grand Line.

As Zoro pulled his eyes away from the cook's hands for the tenth time, he noticed that Frey was watching him. The shy kid quickly looked away, feigning interest in the conversation of his friends. They were all laughing and joking about various crewmates' reactions to the fact that they had "got in" with him and Sanji.

"And then Breadon was all like 'why would you even want to?' and Moose turns around and says 'well, it helps that I'm not a picky eater!" Royal nudged his best friend teasingly, who merely shrugged his shoulders with a small smile tugging his lips. "What? I like _all_ of Sanji-san's cooking."

"Yeah, and then when Rabid Dan came down, he gave us all the dirtiest look before ducking under his covers and sulking!" Joss laughed. Sanji grinned at their infectious cheer. Paul, of course, had to throw a wet blanket over everything.

"Don't you four go pestering Dan too much. I checked his clothes and bunk again while he was in the bath this morning, but I still didn't find anything." The boys' smiles faded and they sighed, practically in unison.

"You're not the one who went through _my_ stuff, were you?" Sanji asked suspiciously.

Paul gave him a bland look. "Why would I?"

"Looking for—" he paused sourly, realizing he couldn't ask without incriminating himself. "What are you looking for in his?"

"Mitch swears up and down that he saw Dan purchasing Doll Powder a while back. If he has, he keeps it on his person at all times, or I would have dumped it in the ocean by now." Seeing Zoro and Sanji's blank looks, he explained further. "It's a kind of sedative. Makes your arms and legs go limp, like a puppet. The last time Dan tried to make someone his cabin boy, he got a knee right in his hyperactive dick. Apparently he's decided to take measures against that sort of thing."

Sanji ground his teeth, bristling, and Zoro sneered. A brief exchange of glances and the two nakama knew they were on the same wavelength. "Want us to shake him down?" The swordsman asked, a vicious twist curling his lip while the cook growled in agreement. Paul opened his mouth to reply when the ship suddenly slammed to the side hard enough to send several sailors to the floor, along with numerous plates that weren't quite empty yet. Sanji barely had enough time to squawk over the waste of food before the sound of an alarm drifted through the mess hall.

"All hands on deck! We've got storm winds and massive breaking waves! Bare the poles and ready the propeller for use!" As one, the crew took to their feet and rushed to the door, lit by a blinding flash of lightning and simultaneously shook by an earsplitting crack of thunder.

"What should we do?" Sanji shouted as he and Zoro brought up the rear, trying not to step on any of the sliding silverware. As they emerged onto the deck they were instantly drenched to the bone by a deluge of frigid seawater as a wave broke over the side.

"Help the boys secure as many barrels as you can and check the cannons!" Paul shouted back before darting up into the rigging. The numerous billowing sails were already being drawn in, while other sailors were tossing the drogue off the stern. The funnel was quickly carried away by the rushing water, but the rope attaching it to the ship must have held firm because a few moments later the stern was caught in the drag, forcing the ship to ride the waves head-on instead of sideways.

Zoro hurried down the line of cannons, checking the ropes that secured them to the ship and the blocks that held their wheels immobile when not in use. The sheets of rain were turning the deck slick as well as reducing visibility, while tall waves crashing across the bow were constantly forcing everyone to stop what they were doing to grab on to something.

Looking around after riding out another wave, the swordsman spotted Royal and Moose a short distance away, securing a net around numerous barrels that they'd grouped together. Across the deck he spotted Sanji, Frey and Joss doing the same. Stepping carefully, Zoro headed their way to check the rest of the cannons. Above him sailors were shifting around in the rigging, trying to contain the last of the sails in spite of the fierce winds. Reaching the last few cannons just in time to cling to them as another wave washed over him, he gritted his teeth and went about finishing his task. A loose barrel rolled past him as he worked, having been knocked over at some point and now careening wildly as the ship rocked to-and-fro. He snagged it when it tried to pass him again after checking the last cannon, and rolled it to the pile that Sanji was securing.

The drenched blond tossed him a corner of the net, and together they covered the stack and bound it to a few steel rings on the deck. There were still numerous barrels left, but before they could round them up Paul materialized out of the rain.

"Good enough!" he yelled over the roar of the ocean. "Come on below, we're ready to run the propeller!" Waving to the others, everyone tied off their last knots and turned to leave, only to have to grab on to the nets once more as another wave pounded over them. This time the wave managed to pick up several of the leftover barrels and tossed them savagely at the masts and rails.

One wooden projectile was headed directly for Sanji's head, but he deflected it with a swift kick despite the fact that he was practically underwater. Another was washed over Paul, missing him by only a few inches as he ducked. The wave carried it past them straight towards the spot where the youngest two boys were clinging, too quickly for anyone to even shout a warning.

The sound of Frey's arm breaking as the barrel slammed into him was lost to the cacophony of the storm, as was the boy himself as he was swept overboard.

* * *

For a moment the crashing wave and pouring rain all seemed to freeze in place, droplets obligingly floating in midair so everyone could clearly see the empty space where a living boy, full of dreams and desires and _life_, had stood only moments ago. Then the water slammed back down, cold and merciless and not quite dense enough to obscure the sight of Joss, without even a moment of hesitation, running to the side of the ship and leaping overboard.

"FREY! JOSS!" Paul's voice cracked as he stumbled forward, eyes wide, toward the railing. Sanji followed him, grabbing him before he could do anything foolish like leap in after them as well, but never taking his eyes off the two dark figures that were already retreating further and further from the ship.

"Zoro!" Sanji shouted, not daring to look away, "two life-pres—"

A red and white flotation ring popped in front of the blond before he could even finish his sentence. Snatching it up, measuring the distance and leaping into the air, Sanji gave the lifebuoy a strong kick, sending it flying straight and true even through the buffeting winds. It landed only a few feet from the bobbing form of Frey, who struggled forward and clutched at it with one arm.

Another ring was handed to the cook, and again he fired it with uncanny accuracy towards the second drifting figure. Joss snatched the ring and continued swimming toward his friend. Despite the fact that the blond haired boy had wasted no time in his pursuit, there was still quite a distance between them.

Zoro took up the two ropes that tied the life-preservers to the ship, but Sanji didn't even have to tell him not to pull yet. Royal and Moose had rushed across the deck to join them, and the five figures watched in agonizing anticipation through the sheets of rain as the two rings on the dark ocean inched closer together.

Ever so slowly.

A bit closer.

Closer.

There!

Joss squeezed his ring over his head and shoulders so he could use both hands to grab Frey, who was barely clinging to his own preserver. Immediately Zoro began hauling in the ropes, the pull of the ocean no match for the strength of his arms. Taking up the slack, Sanji finally tore his eyes away from the floating figures and slid over to a set of rope cleats on the main mast, winding the cords around the hooks so no progress could be lost when the next wave came crashing over. He didn't really expect Zoro to lose his grip, but his actions spurred the two remaining boys to join in, so they wouldn't be standing at the rail feeling helpless.

Paul stayed beside Zoro, eyes never leaving the dark waters as his hands took up the lengths of rope being pulled in, preventing them from tangling around the swordsman's feet. Heave-ho, pull and wrap. Brace and ride out another torrent. Shake the water out of your eyes and heave-ho, pull and wrap.

The rope was starting to feel funny under Sanji's fingers as they went numb with cold, and the constant deluge of water was giving him the disconcerting sensation that he was overboard himself.

_Zeff_…

_No! Panic later, after they're safe!_

Round and round they wound the ropes. Moose and Royal seemed content to take over, so Sanji straightened his back and looked out to the sea once more. Stumbling over to Zoro and Paul, he peered over the rail and felt relieved to see the two boys almost at the side of the ship.

"Brace yourselves!" the swordsman shouted to the bedraggled forms. It was hard to tell, but Joss seemed to be nodding in acknowledgement, so Zoro took a deep breath, wrapped the ropes firmly around his hands, then tugged hard as he ran across the deck. The speed caused the boys to ride higher in the water, skipping quickly over the dangerous swells beside the ship and slamming into the wooden side. Joss had managed to turn himself so his back took most of the damage, and together they were pulled up to the top of the railing.

As the new length of rope was quickly tied off, Sanji and Paul pulled the two teenagers onto the deck, taking care not to jostle Frey's arm. Removing the life-preservers, Paul wrapped an arm around each boy's shoulders and hugged them to his chest, shaking.

"My brothers…my brothers…" he sobbed over and over, even after Moose and Royal scrambled over and joined in. Paul managed to extricate his arms so he could wrap them around all four of them. "My little brothers…my little brothers…"

Sanji politely looked away, and noticed that Zoro was doing the same. After riding out another pounding of water, however, they knew they had to intervene. "Let's get inside before anything else happens!" the cook shouted over the howl of the wind. In a wet huddle, everyone slipped and shuffled to the nearest door and filed below deck.

It was like rediscovering warmth and quiet for the first time after years without. Sanji's ears were ringing now that the noise of the storm had been reduced to a dull, muffled roar. Paul was ushering the lot of them towards the infirmary, sending Royal to the propeller room to fetch the doctor. Moose wandered off as well, and returned a few moments later with towels and blankets for everyone.

Sanji patted the towel over his dripping hair, slowly drying his face and neck. He felt…detached. His body was shivering, but he didn't feel particularly cold. Through the door of the cramped sick room he could see Paul trying to comfort his little brother, who appeared to be in pain, but he couldn't hear what was being said. Joss looked pale, like he couldn't believe what he'd done now that it was over.

_Crap, I need a smoke._

Struggling with his numb fingers and drenched clothing, the cook finally managed to get the pack out of his pocket and pull out a soggy cigarette. Further fumbling produced his lighter, which stubbornly refused to spark when he turned the grinders. _Click._ Still no light.

_Lost at sea._

The phrase kept running through his mind, over and over. They seemed like nice kids. They didn't deserve such a fate. Luffy was always falling overboard, but he usually did it in calmer weather. A storm like this, though, could have carried them out of sight in less than a minute.

_Click. Click. Click._

_Lost at sea._

Assuming the ocean didn't swallow them whole, then what? Tossed up on some godforsaken lump of rock, with only rainwater to live on? Watching the horizon day after day, ever hoping, ever despairing, for that telltale glimpse of a fluttering sail?

_Click. Click. Click._

_Lost at sea._

Was Zoro speaking to him? It was difficult to say; he couldn't hear anything. There must have still been some water in his ears.

_Click. Click. Click._

_Lost at sea._

What would they do when hunger set in? They seemed like good friends. Would they stay that way, helplessly watching each other shrivel away before their eyes, feeling the pain as their stomachs tried to devour themselves from inside out?

_Click. Click. Click._

_Lost at sea._

It occurred to Sanji that his cigarette had fallen from his lips and rolled away somewhere. His mouth seemed to be muttering something of its own accord. Zoro was standing in front of him now, and might have been raising a hand to slap him across the face. It was hard to tell; his vision seemed _narrow_, somehow.

_Lost at sea. Lost at sea. Lost at s—_

"Sanji."

Sound and sight suddenly returned. A rough pair of hands had cupped his face with gentle firmness, forcing him to look into a pair of dilated eyes. "It's okay. Nobody's lost at sea. Everybody's safe. Were all here. It's okay."

Awareness was creeping in from the sides. The ship doctor was rushing past, paying them no mind as he hurried to his patient's side. There was a blanket wrapped around Sanji's shoulders, trying to hold in what little heat he had left. Zoro's eyes seemed unusually large and dark: had they always been that way?

_Wait a minute. What just happened, and why is he looking at me like I'm about to break?_

"Crap."

Sanji's brain finished collecting itself and he stepped back, embarrassment plainly written across his face. "I can't believe I just went into shock. I wasn't even the one who fell overboard!"

Zoro chuckled, but there was no mockery in his voice when he spoke. "You just have too much empathy, that's all. And bad memories."

"Even still…" the blond murmured, eyes downcast. Zoro's hands twitched, and Sanji had the distinct impression that the other man wanted to reach out to him once more. More alarmingly, however, was the realization that he craved the comfort. "W-we should go help with the propeller," he stuttered, color beginning to return to his face. "They've got everything covered here."

"Actually, I think you should stay," the swordsman replied, catching his shoulder as he began to turn away. Sanji spun back around, affronted. "I'm _fine_, there's no need for that—"

"I meant, for them." He nodded back towards the infirmary door. Paul was currently standing outside of it, drying off and trying to mind his own business, but inside the two teenagers were staring vacantly at the doctor's hands as he examined Frey's broken arm. "If what _you_ felt was bad, what must _they_ be going through?"

"Surely they'd rather be with their friends right now, not some temporary drifter…"

"Maybe. But you're the only one who's experienced the same thing. Don't you think they'd like to talk to someone who understands what they're going through?"

"I…" Sanji shuffled uncomfortably for a moment, then sighed. "Yeah, I guess I can see your point."

Paul suddenly looked up at them, and positively _beamed_.

* * *

The room where the propeller was operated, the lowest room on the ship, was filled with dozens and dozens of cranks. It was loud with the noise of grinding gears, smelly, and humid from the warmth generated by numerous rain-drenched, sweating sailors. Altogether it was an unpleasant place to be, so it was no surprise it wasn't used more often. The system was designed so that the workload was equally divided between all the gears, which was a shame. It probably never occurred to Dan that the ship might one day host someone who could've turned the propeller all by himself, if only he'd built it differently. Zoro gripped one of the handles, turning the crank round and round while his mind traveled far away. After all, he did his best thinking when his body was occupied by a monotonous workout.

He hadn't been able to hit Sanji. It would have been the fastest way to knock him back to his senses, but as he raised his hand to strike he suddenly recalled the tale of how Sanji met his adoptive father, and couldn't do it. The cook had grown fond of the two boys so quickly that he was now being tormented over the thought that they could've met a similar fate.

_Aho-cook. You put up a tough front, but you have a tender heart._

He could admit it: sometimes he was envious of the ease with which Sanji displayed his emotions. The man wore his heart on his sleeve and no one thought it strange. If Zoro ever dared to shed a tear, his nakama would have thought the world was ending. It was just the way they were; Sanji never held anything in, while Zoro always kept his more vulnerable emotions in reserve.

Sometimes, though, Zoro wished he hadn't set such a difficult standard for himself. Sometimes he wished he didn't always have to be the strong one.

Perhaps that was another reason why he was always willing to fight with Sanji. Anger was the only emotion he was allowed, by his own rules, to let run wild. But it wasn't anger or bitterness he was feeling right now. When others were likely to let emotions get in the way of their logic, Zoro was always there with a cool head.

And right now, his piercing mind had finally figured out what his clumsy heart had been stumbling over.

He didn't even feel particularly surprised.

* * *

Yay, it's over. Man, was this chapter ever difficult to write, mostly because I actually had to do a little research on boats, and hunt down names for objects that I knew by sight but had no idea what they were called.

Next chapter is almost as long as this one, and I didn't even get around to what the chapter was supposed to _be_ about. Which leaves me with only two more chapters to write! And the annoying realization that this story probably needs a sequel too. Stop growing, story!

So, did action!chapter live up to your expectations? What did you like or not like about it?


	6. Helpless to the Ebb and Flow

RelationShipwreck

Chapter 6: Helpless to the Ebb and Flow

That evening was dedicated to cleanup. Sanji was working in the galley, of course, which was probably the messiest place anyway. Scraping up the last of the spilled food off the floor, he stared at it forlornly. Seawater had leaked in at some point, leaving everything that had fallen wet and salty.

"Well, at least we can still use it as fish bait," he muttered as he set the soggy remains aside. He wasn't about to _toss_ anything, that was certain. A few other sailors were helping to gather and wash the dishes, while others were beginning to scrub the tables, benches, and floor. Spirits were down and everyone was dirty, tired and hungry, so Sanji knew it was important to get a tasty, warm dinner ready as quickly as he could.

Outside, ropes and sails were being checked and debris removed. Zoro was out there somewhere, probably doing the work of 15 men. It was about time the lazy marimo did some real labor. None of that "take a watch, work out, sleep," nonsense he was so fond of. The idiot was only good for one thing anyway.

_Yeah, that's Zoro all right. Marine problem? Throw some muscle at it._

_Sea Kings attacking? Throw some muscle at it._

_Reeling in someone who fell overboard? Throw some muscle at it._

_Someone having a nervous breakdown? Look them in the eyes and gently oH FOR CRAP'S SAKE STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!_

Sanji chopped up several slabs of meat with such force that his helpers were starting to look at him nervously. A quick glare and they went back to their business, worried that he might change his mind about taking his frustrations out on only _in_animate objects.

_So the marimo can be caring. Big deal! He's not a monster, you know that, even if you do tease him about it_. Zoro was perfectly entitled to show his softer side to his nakama, the people he trusted. Just because this was the first time Sanji had actually _seen_ him display any softness, to anyone, didn't mean anything. Certainly it didn't mean that Zoro was treating him any differently than before, or in a different manner than the rest of the Strawhats, or—

_Oh, who am I kidding? Time's up, isn't it? Zoro's got to know his heart by now, and I still don't have an answer. Not one he'll like, anyway._

And that was the crux of the problem. As far as Sanji could see, there were only two options: turn down Zoro's feelings, and leave things awkward and unpleasant between them until the swordsman found someone else (however long _that_ might take,) or…

Or… somehow… what? Lead him on? He couldn't do that, not to a nakama. Gain an appreciation for man-flesh? Zoro was probably an excellent specimen for that sort of thing, but his mind went blank every time he tried to consider it. Which left only option one, which still didn't set right in the blond's stomach.

He grabbed a meat tenderizer and began whacking half-heartedly at the red slabs, his burst of energy all used up. There was just no easy answer. No way to make things go back the way they were before, no matter how badly he wished that they would.

* * *

Before night had fallen the ship had been put back in order, the crew fed, and the kitchen cleaned once more. Frey and Joss had eaten with a voracity that surprised themselves before falling soundly asleep on the cots in the infirmary. The freckle-faced boy's arm had been set and bound and there was no particular reason why they couldn't return to the bunk room, aside from the fact that they were too exhausted to face the questions and sympathies of their crewmates. Instead, Royal enthusiastically took up the task of relating the tale of their plight and the heroics of the two hitchhikers, with Moose occasionally throwing a word in. Zoro and Sanji accepted the attention and grateful thanks they received with varying degrees of patience, before insisting that they were dead on their feet and retreating to the safety of their bunks.

_Not that we can sleep with all this racket going on_, Zoro thought with a sigh. Most of the lights had been turned off, at least, but everyone else was still loitering around Royal and Moose's bunks, yakking away. Sanji kept shifting around above him, making little displeased sounds.

"Too noisy?" he enquired of the expanse of wood above him.

"Too _dirty_," came the voice, muffled through the mattress. "With everyone clamoring for the shower, I didn't get to spend nearly long enough washing up. I think I still have salt in my hair."

"…"

"I can hear you grinning. Shut up."

"Sure thing… princess."

"Barbarian."

Chuckle. "Good night."

A pause. "'Night, marimo."

Zoro rolled over, pulling the blanket over his head in hopes of blocking out distractions. _This is going to be a challenge_, he thought with a sigh. The swordsman had managed to keep their brief conversation normal, despite the fact that part of his brain kept providing highly suggestive comebacks to practically everything Sanji had said. _Fortunately, I live for challenges._

After all, there were really only two options open to him, now that he knew _why_ thoughts of his nakama were driving him to distraction.

One: he could confess to Sanji, get turned down, and make the poor ladies-man feel uncomfortable and possibly guilty for the rest of their lives.

Or, two: he could keep this little revelation to himself, so things could stay normal. Even if the cook already suspected (which, considering he'd _kissed_ him, was highly likely,) he would probably be quite glad to keep up the status quo. Sanji wouldn't have to be burdened with unwanted affections, and Zoro would simply keep the semi-ascetic lifestyle he'd always maintained so far. Perfect.

It was an easy choice.

* * *

Sanji took his usual seat on the bench next to Zoro at breakfast, trying not to look like he was dragging his feet. The swordsman had looked normal enough when he caught a glimpse of him on his way to the kitchen, but that was hardly enough time to judge. It had been impossible _not_ to notice the way the man had been staring at him ever since he joined the ship; how would he behave now that he surely knew his feelings?

"Morning, marimo," he said as be began to dig in.

"Morning, dartbow," Zoro replied with a mouthful of food.

_Well, that was painless._ There was a sudden cheer throughout the room, and the two looked up to see Frey and Joss entering the galley with their friends. Applause broke out and the two youngest crewmembers looked horribly embarrassed yet pleased at the same time. Several people got up to pat them on the back or ruffle their hair, and even Frey's father, a rather cold and distant man in Sanji's opinion, spent a few moments helping his second son load up his plate.

Soon their table was filled with the usual crowd. Frey's father gave Sanji and Zoro a stiff bow. "My apologies for not saying this earlier. Thank you for saving my son." With that he returned to his own table with nary another word.

"Don't mind him," Paul said, seeing the two nakama's raised eyebrows. "He's not really the fatherly type. He left that job to me." Sanji just shook his head and returned to his food. Breakfast passed quickly, and soon people were shuffling out in threes and fours, returning to their duties. Paul left to take watch, and Zoro stood and cracked his neck a few times, dismissing himself to work out some more before Sanji could rope him into cleanup. _Work-dodging, lazy bastard_, the chef muttered to himself. _Back to his old tricks already._ He was just starting to gather the plates when it occurred to him.

Zoro hadn't stared at him at all this morning. In fact he seemed to be acting just like he always had before, back on the Thousand Sunny. _What does _that_ mean? Did he not figure it out after all? Or did he come to the wrong conclusion? Don't tell me he_—

"Sanji-san?" came the shy voice of Frey beside him. The blond looked down at the shorter boy, who was looking at him with an oddly pathetic expression. "Is… is there any work I can do?"

A quick glance around the room showed Royal sweeping crumbs out from around the counters, two hands firmly gripping the broom; Moose carrying stacks of plates held securely between two hands; and Joss filling the sink up with soapy water, where someone with two hands would scrub the plates and someone with two hands would dry them and put them away.

Come to think of it, two hands were required for fishing, and for manipulating sails, and for climbing in rigging. Frey couldn't even take watch, because he couldn't reach the crow's nest.

_Oh._

"Well. Why don't you take a washcloth and scrub down the tables before Royal gets over there with the broom?" The freckled-face burst into a grin before he darted away to do as he was told. Sanji shook his head, a sad smile tugging his lips.

_Why can't Zoro be more helpful like that? Poor kid, he's going to feel so useless and bored until that arm heals._

* * *

Lunch came and went in much the same manner, except that Zoro had the distinct impression that Sanji had been staring at him. Kind of ironic, really. Once again he was out on the deck, pumping iron cannons, turning ever darker under the sun's glare. He paused as he realized he was being watched by a more unexpected pair of eyes, and set the weights down.

"Yeah?"

Paul stepped closer, now that he wasn't in danger of accidentally getting hit. "It occurred to me that _I_ haven't given you my thanks for yesterday."

"If you need to thank anyone, thank Joss. And Sanji."

"I have. And I will."

"Good." Zoro leaned back down to resume what he'd been doing, but Paul stepped closer still. "What?" he asked, noticing the man's troubled expression.

"You know, for a while I'd been intent on getting an apology out of you two."

Zoro straightened out, settling for drying off some of his sweat instead. "For what?" At Paul's sour look, he recalled the way he and Sanji had treated the sailor just before leaving from Kamabakka. Blowing cigarette smoke in someone's face probably wasn't the best way to make a first impression, and threatening someone into silence wasn't that great a move either. "Oh."

"However, saving the life of my brother far outweighs a personal slight, so much so that I feel I owe you two a favor."

"That's really not necessary," he responded, dabbing his face with his towel.

"Okay, forget it then."

Zoro looked up in surprise. Paul stared blandly back, though he could've sworn there was a smile twitching at his lips. "Since you've declared us even, is it alright if I ask you a favor instead?"

Zoro could only stare, slightly amazed at the man's audacity. "Such as?"

"How do I get Sanji to stop denying that he played dress-up?"

Zoro's eyes widened, before narrowing under drawn brows. "You _don't_," he said tersely. "It's none of your business, and neither of us appreciate you bringing it up." Tossing aside the towel, he reached down and hefted up the weights again, forcing Paul to take a few steps back to get out of the way.

"I noticed you're not watching him today like you usually do," he continued recklessly. "Did something happen?"

"No. Now _get lost_. You may be a good guy where your brother's concerned, but right now you're _pissing me off_."

"Do you have a little brother? Or anyone like a little brother to you?"

Before Zoro could ignore him or threaten him off, an image of Chopper popped into his mind, in his small, fuzzy form that the reindeer favored most, bashfully cussing him out after receiving a word of praise. More images came crowding in, of long-nosed Usopp clinging to him in fear, and of his captain, Luffy, grinning confidently at him. The thoughts of his missing nakama slowed down his angry retort long enough that Paul knew he'd found some common ground.

"You _do_ have someone."

"So?" Zoro said gruffly, but it didn't come out as angrily as he'd intended.

"Do you love them?"

"Of _course_ I do."

"Would you do anything for them?"

"Of… course."

"Look after them when they're sick? Talk to them when they're sad? Try to help them with their problems, even if those problems are things you can't understand and can't help them with no matter how good your intentions?"

Paul's eyes were wide with fierce sincerity, and in spite of himself Zoro felt some of his anger leaving him. "Of course," he said more softly.

The brown haired man let out a shaky sigh, rubbing his hand across his lightly freckled face. "Well, I have no less than four boys that I feel that way about. I taught them every trick I know about sailing, I gave them a shoulder to cry on when they needed one, and I give them space when they want that instead. I'm far from perfect, but I try. And if they need something that I can't provide, then I'll do my best to find them someone who _can_."

His righteous fury spent, Paul stuck his trembling hands in his pockets and stared at the deck below his feet. Zoro stood still, the cannons suspended somewhere in the middle of a rep, pondering the man's explosion. He recalled the way Paul had looked so happy the day before, when Sanji agreed to stay and talk with the boys.

_So…he's looking for…role models?_

"And you think Sanji and I are the ones you're looking for?"

"More or less," he replied evasively.

Zoro stared, simultaneously suspicious and intrigued. "What does Sanji's stint in Okama-land have to do with this?"

Paul looked up and grinned. "I'll be happy to explain, if you'll promise to help."

* * *

_What on earth are those two talking about?_ Earlier, Sanji had caught sight of his green-haired nakama having a heated argument with Frey's brother while he was heading to the storage room to collect fruit for dinner. Now that he had emerged from the mess hall to ring the dinner bell, he was amazed and rather irritated to see that they were still out on the deck, calmly holding a conversation. _What could Paul have to talk about that could hold Zoro's interest for hours?_

He tried to ignore them as everyone ate dinner, but it was hard when the two were sitting next to each other, all chummy-like. Sanji shook his head and focused on his food. _Stop being silly. Zoro made a friend; it's a good thing._ So what if that meant the swordsman had gone from watching his every move to completely ignoring him? That was the way things were supposed to be.

_I do not miss the attention. I am not an attention-whore. I hated it, anyway._ Sanji chugged down his drink, trying to wash away his uncertainty. Tilting it back to get every last drop, he lowered the mug and stared morosely at the dregs on the bottom. _Maybe…I was wrong? Maybe that kiss was just a product of drunkenness with no hidden meaning behind it. What if I've been worrying myself nuts over nothing? Have I seriously spent the last several days agonizing over the state of Zoro's _feelings_ when it was all in my head?_

The cook slid out from under the table, stomping over to refill his drink with a sour look on his face. _Crap, what was I thinking? Stewing and stewing over a problem that I don't even know is real? Has he been laughing at me all this time?_ A quick glance over his shoulder showed Zoro grinning at some joke Royal was telling, looking for all the world like he didn't have a worry in his empty head. Sanji glared at him all the way back to his seat before pasting on an indifferent look when one of the boys looked his way. Picking up his fork once more, he resumed eating.

_Wait a minute. I'm going about this all wrong. I may have wasted a few brain cells worrying over the marimo, but doesn't this mean that my problem's solved? No one has to get hurt. Everything is normal, just like I wished it would be!_ The blond pasted on a smile as he finished his last bite and tried to pay more attention to the conversation going around the table. _Look's like I've been spared. Isn't that great!_

He watched Zoro from the corner of his eye, taking in the way his three earrings glimmered in the lamplight whenever he nodded his head, the way the sharp lines on his temples moved when his eyebrows went up, and the feral way he grinned when he was amused. Looking back down at his empty plate, Sanji sighed.

_Maybe it just takes a while for the relief to kick in?_

_

* * *

_

O-ho, we finally got a peak into the workings of Paul's mind! And Sanji's. And Zoro's. I guess this was mind-reading!chapter. Coming up next we have humor!chapter, which turned out even longer than action!chapter length-wise, but not word-count-wise. Does that make sense? It has lots of dialogue, I'll put it that way. And my promised cliché dodging! Or maybe just cliché-using. Guess it's a matter of opinion, but I'm hoping you guys'll take it as dodging. :D

Was there anything in particular you liked about this chapter? Did I surprise any of you?


	7. Trying Hard Not To Admit

RelationShipwreck

Chapter 7: Trying Hard Not To Admit

Zoro had just walked into the galley, so everyone knew the sun must have set: the man didn't stop working out until dusk was over. The tables were empty except for one, where the four boys were enjoying a game of cards, with Paul helping to hold his brother's deck. Sanji was fixing up a snack, his mind busy planning out the morrow's menu.

"Aw!" Royal exclaimed as he tossed his cards down. "No fair, you have help!" Paul smirked as he ruffled Frey's hair. "Nonsense, I'm just a glorified card-holder. He's doing all the thinking." The one-armed boy grinned even as he tried to smooth his hair back down.

"And yet suddenly he's always winning," the long-haired boy pouted. Joss gathered all the cards up, trying to keep the peace. "Why don't we play something else, then? Zoro's here, maybe he and Sanji will join us!" They all looked up hopefully.

"Sure, I'm game," the green-haired man said, taking a seat. Sanji looked up briefly before shaking his head. "After I'm done here, maybe."

"What should we play?" Joss enquired. Paul whispered something into Frey's ear, which made the freckle-faced kid blush before throwing in a suggestion.

"H-how about Pick Your Poison?"

Royal clapped his hands and laughed. "Oh, that's perfect!" Moose gave a shrug and nodded his consent, and Joss looked doubtful but agreed.

"What is this, a slumber party for 12-year-olds? You can count _me_ out," the cook snorted. Zoro and Paul exchanged glances. "Can you at least get us a bottle?"

"_Fine_," he huffed, retrieving one of the empty cola bottles from dinner and chucking it at Zoro's head. It was caught with ease and laid flat on the table.

"So, who goes first?"

"Why don't you start?"

"All right." Zoro gave the bottle a twirl and all eyes watched it come to a stop aimed at Moose. "It's been forever since I played this, lets see… pick your poison; tell us what your dream is, vs.… do a flip off the table."

"Wow, way to set the bar low, marimo," Sanji said with a roll of his eyes, which the green-haired man ignored.

The targeted boy scratched his head sheepishly. "I'd probably land on my head, so… my dream is to be Royal's first mate when he gets his own ship and explore the world." Royal grinned at him and playfully nudged him with his elbow. "That's _my_ dream, not yours. You have to tell the _whole_ truth in this game!"

"Fine, fine," he said softly, turning a little pink. "After we're done exploring, my dream is for us to marry two girls who are also best friends, and we'll all live together and have kids at the same time."

Joss snickered. "You're such a family man, Moose."

"What? I like big families. Now it's my turn." He grabbed the bottle and gave it a little spin, letting it identify the next target. "Joss, pick your poison. What kind of family do _you_ want? Versus pretend to be a monkey for the next 3 turns."

"Tch, easy. I want to marry a girl who's not going to run off with some other guy and leave her kid with the neighbor," he said with a tone of bitterness. "She doesn't have to be the prettiest, as long as she's a girl. I mean, a nice girl." For a second his eyes darted to Frey, who completely missed it. "Anyway, gimme the bottle."

Sanji rounded the counter with a tray of drinks, shaking his head "Geez, do you kids even know _how_ to play this game?"

"What do you mean?" Joss enquired, hands poised to give the dark glass a twist.

"You're supposed to stack the questions so you get what you _want_, not play 'getting to know you.'"

"Why don't you show us how it's done?" Zoro asked slyly, to which Sanji snorted in disbelief. "Nice try," he retorted before setting down the last drink and returning to the kitchen.

Joss looked thoughtful as he spun the pointer. When it came to rest indicating Zoro, he grew a wicked grin. "Alright, pick your poison. What's your weakness vs. let me use one of your swords!"

Zoro laid a hand protectively over the blades at his side. "Haven't I already told you 'no?'"

"Fine. Then what's your weakness?"

He growled a bit as he looked to the side, a sulky expression on his face. "I have a poor sense of direction."

From the kitchen, Sanji suddenly burst out laughing. "Don't you mean _no_ sense of direction?"

"Hey, no comments from people too chicken to play!"

"I believe you mean "too smart to play."

"_Buck buck buck b_—"

"No snacks for you."

"Ass."

"Got any more animals you want to accuse me of being, or did you still want breakfast?"

Zoro grumbled something under his breath before snatching the bottle again. It spun about until it singled out Frey, who looked up at him with nervous expectation. "Pick your poison, tell us what it was like going overboard or—"

Frey's eyes widened and his face turned pale, making Zoro realize it was too soon and he was being insensitive. "Um…versus…let me sign your cast," he finished lamely. The boy immediately went from white to pink. Paul smiled as he got up to allow Zoro to trade spots with him, and Frey turned even redder as the swordsman sat down beside him.

"Hey ero-cook, toss me a pen!"

"What am I, your gofer?" Sanji grumbled even as he chucked the writing utensil at him, again aiming for his head. Zoro snatched it deftly and popped off the cap, gingerly taking Frey's arm and scrawling his signature across the wrappings. Almost unwilling to tear his eyes away from his new autograph, Frey took the bottle with his other hand and gave it a whorl, trembling head to toe with happiness. It came to rest on Royal.

"Um, p-pick your poison… do you ever miss your home? Versus…" he paused, then squeaked in a voice that seemed surprised at his own daring, "g-give Moose a kiss."

There was an exasperated sigh from the kitchen, as if Sanji had suspected all along that the game would eventually degrade into those sort of juvenile dares. Royal just laughed, though. "Oh, Frey, that's too _easy_!" To prove his claim, he stood halfway so he could reach Moose's much taller form and, without shame or even the slightest hint of a blush, gave his friend a peck on the cheek. Moose accepted it with the well-worn patience of a man who is used to crazy antics.

"Ha!" the long-haired boy cut in before Frey could object, sticking out his tongue. "You didn't say it had to be on the lips." Meanwhile, both Zoro and Sanji were staring with amazement bordering on embarrassment. How could those boys be so carefree about the subject of kissing, when it had caused _them_ such strife?

* * *

"Yay, that makes it my turn!" Royal said with glee. Frey rolled the bottle over for him to spin. From the kitchen, Sanji was putting the final touches on his platter of snacks. He stood back and gave the tray a final inspection before nodding in satisfaction.

It was loaded with tasty little croissant sandwiches stuffed with meat and cheese, petite apple tarts, and delicate lemon madeleines. Much too good for a crowd of ungrateful men, but Sanji didn't want to get rusty and was itching to make something nice.

"Oho, Zoro again!"

"What?"

"Tough luck. It would've been Paul if you hadn't traded places. Oh, what to make you do, what to make you do…"

Sanji hoisted the giant tray on one hand and looked up as he walked around the counter, an ominous feeling in his gut as he noticed the glint in Royal's eyes. _See, Zoro, this is why you shouldn't play games like this; it's a one-way ticket to embarrassment!_

"Pick your poison! Let Joss use one of your swords…"

Zoro narrowed his eyes.

"Versus… _kiss_—"

_If my name comes up next, someone else isn't getting any snacks either!_

"—Frey. On the lips."

_That's bet—wait, what?_

Sanji paused mid-step, watching Zoro's reaction. The man was still guarding his swords protectively and looking back and forth between Joss's eager expression and Frey's beat-red, hopeful face. It _almost_ looked like he was actually _considering_ the second option. In fact it _almost_ looked like he was clearing his throat nervously and shifting closer to the boy whose eyes were growing wider and was nervously licking his lips.

_That…bastard…marimo! Doesn't he know better then to mess with the feelings of an innocent little boy? You're going to be leaving eventually and it'll break his heart!_ He stalked closer with the platter of snacks unnoticed; all eyes were on the scene unfolding before them as Zoro lifted a hand to take Frey's chin.

_You're seriously going to do this? Don't you know that kid's crushing on you? Don't you understand the repercussions of your own actions? DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT AVAILABLE?_

A tray of snacks slammed down on the table in front of Zoro and Frey, which meant Sanji's arms had conveniently come between the two. Everyone looked surprised, including Sanji himself.

_Wait. That didn't come out right._

Aware of the crowd of eyes staring at him, the chef hastily adopted a cool look and pinned it on Royal. "That's two dares, instead of a dare and a question. You forfeit your turn."

The dark-haired boy smacked himself on the head. "Aw, man, I got ahead of myself!" He sighed in disappointment, letting Moose pat him sympathetically on the back. "That means you get my turn."

Sanji gaped like a fish. "Huh?"

"If you catch someone breaking the rules, you get to steal their turn."

"Ah, no, I'm not playing."

"Better take it, aho-cook," Zoro said smugly. "Otherwise we'll get you for interrupting a dare, in which case Royal gets to ask you questions instead."

Sanji fumed, little cracking noises emitting from his mouth as he ground his teeth. On the one hand, he really, really didn't want to play. On the other hand…even if he convinced everyone to forget him and just let Royal change one of his questions, what would that kid pick? Probably something damning, like "who was the last person you kissed?"

"_Fine_," he hissed, taking a seat on the other side of Zoro and giving him a dark look. "Are you a virgin? Verses _let the kid play with your damn sword already_!"

The green-haired man glared back before sulkily getting up and unfastening Wadō Ichimonji from his haramaki. With obvious reluctance he placed it in Joss's eager hands and proceeded to watch him like a hawk.

"Wow… you let me hold the white one, even?" the blond remarked with reverence.

"She's the one least likely to bite."

"She's not as heavy as I thought she would be." Standing up, he pulled it out of the sheath awkwardly, making Zoro twitch, before gripping the handle tightly between both hands. Pointing it away from the table, he admired the way the light gleamed across the polished surface. "She's so pretty! Someday I want to learn how to use a sword and own an awesome one like this." He gave a few vertical swings with the sword, making Sanji snicker at her owner's obvious unease.

"Okay, that's enough," Zoro said, taking the handle out from under Joss's hands and returning the blade to its scabbard. "Tell you what, you find something we can use as practice swords and I'll give you some basic lessons until I move on, how's that?"

"That would be amazing!" Joss was practically jumping for joy, enthusiasm written all over his face. Paul grinned as they returned to their seats, Zoro sighing and giving Sanji a victimized look.

"See what you've got me in to?"

"I didn't force you to make any commitments, you did that on your own."

"Yeah, yeah." He grabbed the bottle and gave it a half-hearted spin. As if noticing the food for the first time, everyone began helping themselves to Sanji's tempting snack tray as the bottle selected the next target.

"Pick your poison, Paul. Just how many people _do_ you play mother hen for? Versus, I don't know, gargle a dirty limerick or something."

Sanji laughed incredulously. "That's the third time you've given your victims a pathetically easy option. I never took you for a _softie_!"

"_You're_ the one who didn't want to play, yet keeps trying to goad everyone into being as vicious as possible!"

"That's the way the game is _supposed_ to be—"

They paused, turning to stare at Paul who had just took a swig of his mug and was currently performing a warbling rendition of 'The Man From Nantuckit.' His brood was hooting and cheering him on merrily, giving him a round of applause when he finished and gulped down his drink. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he flashed a grin at the two who were still frozen in mid-argument. "I believe it is _my_ turn, now."

Lamplight glittered off the smooth glass curves as the bottle spun round and round, coming to rest, once more, upon Zoro. For a moment, Paul looked annoyed at the result.

"Me _again_?"

"That's what you get for not playing to win."

"That makes absolutely _no sense_."

"Gentlemen," Paul interrupted with a raised eyebrow. The two nakama turned back to the business at hand, letting the slightly older man get his first turn. "Zoro, pick your poison. Give my brother that kiss…"

Menacing waves seemed to radiate from the blond chef.

"…Or tell us what your most recent date was like."

Menacing waves _continued_ to radiate from the blond chef. The others around the table, however, perked up with interest, even Frey, though that answer would mean losing out on his kiss.

"Well…" Zoro began carefully, after shooting a betrayed look at Paul, "I met an attractive worker at an inn, and we spent the day together. We went shopping, enjoyed a picnic, walked along the beach, and went drinking. At the end of the night I was too forward, though, and got dumped."

Everyone offered him their condolences, after first laughing their asses off. Zoro turned a bid red, but Sanji finally relaxed.

"Poor Zoro-san," Frey said with real sympathy. "You weren't too broken up about it, were you?"

"What? No, I'm fine; it was just a whim. Romance really isn't that important to me."

_Not important? _Sanji stared at the green-haired swordsman, eyes growing wider and wider in realization. _Not important!?_ _Is _that_ why he suddenly went back to normal? Because he figured out his heart and decided to _ignore_ it out of some macho, self-sacrificing, 'I don't need feelings' bullcrap?!_

"Not _important_?" Sanji suddenly blurted out, staring at Zoro as if he were some kind of alien life form. "Romance is _everything_!"

"Maybe in your opinion, ero-cook. You try to _romance_ every female you come across! It's pathetic."

"I am merely giving women the attention they _deserve_!" he exclaimed as he leaped to his feet, offended.

"What about the ones that try to _kill_ you?" Zoro returned, standing as well to keep them equal. "Do they deserve to _walk all over you_ while you snivel at their feet like an idiot?"

"It doesn't matter what they do, I'll never strike a woman! I had a _very_ strict upbringing!"

"That doesn't explain why you chase _every single one_ like a starving wolf! Of course they don't take you seriously, they know you'd never be loyal!"

"I would _too_ be loyal if I found the love of my life!"

"You'll never _find_ love with _your_ attitude!"

"WELL AT LEAST I _TRY_!" Sanji shouted with a manic gleam in his eye. They both fell silent, breathing heavily with anger as they attempted to out-glare each other from mere inches apart.

"Wow. That was…entertaining." Paul deadpanned.

The two recoiled in surprise, having obviously forgotten their surroundings in the heat of the argument. The boys were all staring at them with looks ranging from nervousness to discomfort to fascination. Mildly sheepish, the two sat back down, eyes still shooting daggers at each other as Zoro took the bottle and resumed the game. It whirled and twirled until it came to a stop on…

Sanji.

"Well, well, well, Mr. 'You're-not-playing-mean-enough,' Zoro began with a smirk. "Looks like it's _your_ turn to pick your poison." The cook narrowed his eyes as the swordsman gloated.

_He'd better not even _dare_ to bring up_—

"Tell everyone what you were doing at Kamabakka! Versus…have you _really_ ever made it with a woman?"

"Ha!" Sanji barked with a sneer, stealing the air from Zoro's sails. "I'll have you know that back on the Baratie I was quite popul—"

"Forfeit," Paul interrupted calmly.

"What?" they asked simultaneously.

"That was two questions, no dares. Zoro forfeits his turn to me."

Realization dawned across both their faces, followed by an irritation-tinged relief on Zoro's and an unhappy reluctance on Sanji's.

_He looks _way_ too confident. I have a bad feeling about this._

Paul leaned forward, steepling his fingers and peering over them with the barest hint of triumph on his face. "Sanji," he drawled, "pick your poison. Did you crossdress while you were in Kamabakka Kingdom?"

_Yeah, good luck on getting that one out of me_.

"Or…" he gestured to the platter of snacks that the chef had prepared with pride, which was still half full. "Throw that food on the floor and stomp on it 'til it's nothing but paste."

For a moment, Sanji just stared blankly at him as his brain temporarily shut down.

Then, his head turned in slow motion to pin Zoro with the most venomous glare he could muster.

"So _that's_ what you two were chatting about all afternoon," he growled in a register usually reserved for giant aquatic mammals. The swordsman looked innocently away, as if trying to deny his involvement in the whole ordeal. The four boys all held their breath, not entirely sure what was wrong but sensing the crackle of danger in the air and wisely trying not to attract attention.

"Fine," Sanji hissed. "I'll show you, you conspiring, backstabbing _traitor_." Zoro flinched, a wounded look pulling his brows together. "Think you're so _smart_." The cook stood, picked up the tray and suspended it over the floor, ready to tilt it and let the sandwiches, tarts, and cookies tumble gracelessly into a messy, broken heap on the floor.

Any second now.

His knuckles turned white where they gripped the tray.

Just a little tilt would do it.

The tarts stared innocently up at him.

_I…can…do…this…_

The madeleines were radiating trust, naively unaware that they weren't going to make anyone full and happy.

_There's plenty more where these…came…from…_

'We're so grateful you appreciate us,' the sandwiches seemed to say. 'You know we're worth more than all the gold in the world to a person who's dying a slow, agonizing death of starvation; wasting away bit by bit and dreaming longingly of how much they'd like one final, tasty little croissant sandwich stuffed with meat and cheese…'

_I did not just whimper. That was a manly note of distress, damn it._

The snacks were trembling in fear on the platter now. Or perhaps that was just his hands shaking.

_Just give it a quick twist! It'll be over in a second! DO IT ALREADY!_

With a sudden gasp of air that made him realize he'd forgotten to breathe, Sanji forced his arms to give the tray a hard spin, snapping it round and slamming it forcefully… back on the table. Completely intact.

Sitting down, he crossed his arms, hunched his shoulders, and went into full sulk mode.

"Yes," he muttered.

* * *

More then one person has mentioned that they thought Zoro was powering the propeller by himself, which made me realize I wrote that part badly. I have now made a small addition to the last section of chapter 5 in hopes of correcting that impression.

A letter to "Hi!"  
You need to get an account so I can reply to your reviews! :P No need to apologize for the rant; I love your comments; you're often an uncanny guesser. Would it make you feel better if I told you that in my story-universe, crossdressing isn't really frowned upon, just considered odd? Sanji's hatred of it stems from his own opinion. Don't worry, everything will work itself out in the end. :)

Well. This chapter ended slightly more sourly then it was supposed to, but hopefully was still funny. The next and final chapter...isn't done yet. But it will probably be very long, I can tell you that right now. Good news for those of you who like long chapters! Anyone like or hate anything about this one enough to tell me about it?


	8. That I Surrendered Long Ago

Sorry you guys had to wait three times as long for this one. On the bright side... the _chapter_ is also three times as long!

* * *

RelationShipwreck

Chapter 8: That I Surrendered Long Ago

Sanji waited for the laughter and teasing to replace the silence following his confession. After no immediate reaction, he dared to peek up at everyone's faces.

Frey wasn't even looking at him, but rather at Zoro, who still appeared to be reeling after being called a traitor. Joss seemed lost in thought, brows creased as if troubled. Moose… was helping himself to the snack platter, just in case someone decided to throw it on the ground anyway.

Surely Paul was staring at him with smug victory, especially after the way Sanji had treated him when he first came aboard…but no. The man was staring expectantly at Royal, who was the _only_ one who looked interested in Sanji's bitter revelation.

"Were you pretty?"

Blink blink. "What?"

"I've seen some of the guys in that town. They were scary-ugly. Did you look like that?"

"Hell, no! If I have to so something whether I want to or not, I'm at least going to do it _right_!"

"So you know how to do make-up properly?"

"Ah...well...that's because I always give the ladies my full attention and listen to everything they say, even if they're talking about...you know...girly stuff."

"Can you teach me?"

There was a moment of silence as the chef stared at the outgoing boy. True, Royal was rather fair of face, even if his ears did stick out a bit comically. His black hair, which was tied back as always, was long enough to reach his shoulder-blades and looked well cared for, much like Sanji's own.

"You want to be an okama?"

The boy heaved a great sigh and slouched in his seat. "Not you _too_. Why does no one understand?"

"Well, why don't you explain it to him?" Paul said consolingly.

"I don't want to be a _woman_, I just want to be _pretty_! Who wrote the rule that says only girls can wear make-up?" Crossing his arms, he looked plaintively at Sanji. "Some of the guys thought they'd be helpful and bought me some frilly dresses, can you believe it? As if I could work properly wearing something like _that_, even if I wanted to. Moose got me a fancy cosmetic set for my birthday, but I can't figure out how to use it without looking like a clown."

"So," Sanji struggled to wrap his head around the sudden turn of events, "you want me to give you make-up lessons?"

"Yeah! I'll get my stuff!" He darted off so fast that Sanji didn't even get a chance to refuse. He stared blankly across the table, where Moose was quietly munching on a sandwich with a content expression.

"You bought him a make-up kit?"

"Why not? He wanted one."

"Yeah, but...you're _encouraging_ this?"

"It'll look good on him."

"That's not exactly what I meant."

"We're all used to Royal's eccentricities. He's an unstoppable force when he decides on something, so it's best just to sit back and let him be himself."

"Doesn't he have any manly pride?"

"How do you mean? He's got lots of pride; in his hair, in his friends, in his dreams..."

"I meant—oh, never-mind, forget it." Obviously someone like Royal, who had absolutely no problem with being different and seemed perfectly at ease with his masculinity in comparison to his companions, would be unable to relate to Sanji's discomfort with the subject.

"Guess that means the game is over," Joss pointed out. "And if Royal is going to be dragging Sanji away..." he turned to the swordsman. "Then how 'bout we start my first sword lesson! There are some poles in storage we can use, lets go!" He tugged on Zoro's arm, gesturing to Frey to help him motivate the numb man to his feet. His friend reluctantly got up to assist, still casting uncertain glances between the green-haired man and the blond cook. The three shuffled out of the galley, leaving only Sanji, Moose, and Paul.

_Stupid swordsman_, the chef thought as he watched the hunched shoulders disappear from sight. _I don't feel sorry for what I said. What were you thinking, teaming up with some outsider against me? If you were _really_ in love with me, you never would have told him anything for the purpose of using against me. Idiot marimo._ He recrossed his arms and scowled at the table. _So what if no one reacted the way I feared they would? I went through a day of hell to keep that secret, and now it was all for nothing._

Well, sort of. Truths told in Pick Your Poison were confined to the ears of other players; it was forbidden to repeat them outside of the game. The four boys and their big brother weren't really strangers anymore, not after the storm, and since they didn't seem keen on teasing him about subject, Sanji hadn't really lost anything. Even so...

_Maybe, just _maybe_, mind you, my feelings are a tiny bit hurt._

He looked up at Paul, who was chewing halfheartedly on a madeleine. "Are you happy now? I assume this is what you wanted."

The freckled man looked up, his face unreadable. "It's a start." He took to his feet, brushing off the crumbs that had collected on his lap. "I'm going to go take watch."

"Didn't you already have a watch today?"

"Fine, then I'm going to sleep. Make sure Royal goes to bed at some point, Moose."

"I'll try," the boy said as Paul ducked away before Sanji could loose his venom on him, too. A moment later Royal came dashing back in, opening a case up on the table to reveal a quality set of paints, powders and brushes, complete with a mirror.

"What do I start with?" he asked, looking up at Sanji with wide, eager eyes. The blond sighed.

_Somehow, this is not what I imagined I'd be teaching one day to admiring youths._

* * *

"So, I hold it like this?" Joss asked for confirmation, adjusting his grip on the cloth Zoro had wrapped around the bottom of the wooden staff to serve as a handle. They had brought a couple of lamps out to shed some light on the deck, since the blond-haired boy insisted on starting now instead of waiting until morning.

"Yeah, that's it, you've got it. Now swing it in a smooth motion like this."

"Say, I've seen you do these moves before, when you're working out."

"A swordsman is never too advanced to continue practicing the basics. They're the building block all other moves are grounded on."

"Wow, that's like...deep."

"Keep moving through the katas I just showed you. I'll correct you when your form is off." He moved over to lean against the wall, casting a brief glance through one of the portholes into the galley. He could see Sanji leaning over Moose, using the poor boy as a guinea pig as he instructed Royal in some sort of technique involving a large powder brush.

"Um..." came the quiet voice beside him, where Frey had taken a seat on a barrel. "Things will probably be okay. He won't stay mad forever, will he?"

"Who knows? Hell hath no fury like that bastard when his pride is injured."

Frey looked away, miserable. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. It's not even your brother's, really. I'm the one who helped him against my better judgment."

"But it _is_ my fault! Paul told me that he saw you...um, at the end of your date, on the island," he confessed. "He sought me out as soon has he returned from the bar, so don't get mad at him, please? He just wanted to prove to me that you can...you know," he turned bright red, "_like_ men...without turning out like Rabid Dan. He knew I was so afraid of that, and that you were a good person even if you never talked much. He just wanted to make me feel better about myself."

_I see, so that's where _I_ come into the role-model picture._

The boy glanced up at his best friend, who was faithfully swinging away, paying them no mind. "I told Joss about it 'cause I was excited, and I tell him everything anyway. The first day after watching you and your nakama together, he told me that Sanji must have been the one you k-kissed. That got me thinking; Paul said the okama was _pretty_, so maybe Sanji-san could help Royal out?"

"So you asked Paul to help, and he asked me, huh?"

"Not...exactly. Actually he caught me looking through Sanji-san's belongings when I was trying to figure out if Joss was right or not. He told me if he ever caught me doing it again he would gut me like a fish and let Sanji make dinner out of me."

Zoro snickered before he could help himself, his mood lifting a little.

"I tried to mind my own business for a while, I really did! I even asked Sanji-san if I...could...um..." He trailed off in embarrassment. "...Approach you. He talked me out of it, though." Zoro sent a brief mental thanks to his nakama for sparing him that task. "Then I broke my arm and had nothing to do, so I started thinking again about—lots of stuff."

_You get in a lot of trouble that way, don't you? I thought Paul was the one who is a meddler by nature, but it's really you, isn't it?_

"I went to Paul first, this time, and he told me to keep my head down and let him take care of it. So, that's why it's really my fault. I thought Sanji-san would get angry at me or Paul, not lash out at you! I'm really, really sorry!"

The freckle-faced boy looked truly distraught over the matter, tears threatening to spill from his pale eyes. The swordsman shifted uncomfortably before patting him on the head consolingly. "Relax, kid, it's not like we don't fight all the time anyway."

"But I wanted—I just wanted—" he hiccuped, struggling to get the words out. "I wanted you two to—"

"Oi, Frey, what's wrong?" The boy had grown louder in his distress, catching the attention of his best friend. Joss dropped the pole and came over to wrap him in a hug. "Geez, don't get so worked up about everything! This is why your brother always butts in and takes the heat for you, you take things too seriously!" He helped the one-armed boy off the barrel and dug out a wrinkled handkerchief for him. Casting one last regretful look at the pole he'd been practicing with, he glanced up at Zoro. "Is it all right if we resume my lessons in the morning?"

"Yeah, sure. Take care of him."

"Will do."

Watching them disappear into the darkness, Zoro sighed, collected the practice swords and secured them with his makeshift barbell.

_As if I could blame a face like that. I wonder how long it'll take for Sanji to cool down enough to let me apologize?_

* * *

Royal blew on his nails, which he had colored a bright royal blue. He had quickly expressed an interest in cooler shades, perhaps to contrast with his personality. He looked rather exotic now, thanks to Sanji's recollections of Nami and Vivi discussing the styles of Arabasta. A line of black paint extended from the corners of his eyes, which were now smokey with with browns and purples, and his lips had been touched with a faint purple sheen.

"What do you think?" he inquired while admiring his new reflection again.

"It's you," Moose said, scrubbing the last of the make-up off his own face.

"It's..." Sanji struggled to find a suitable word that was honest without being insulting. "Different."

"Of course it's different; this is the Grand Line, the melting pot of the world! Everyone you come across is different! Does it look _good_?"

"I...guess. Sure."

Royal stared at him blankly. "If I was a girl, would it look good?"

"Oh, definitely."

The boy sighed and put the mirror down. "You and Joss sure are hung up on the funniest things."

"He thinks you're weird, too?"

The long-haired boy burst out laughing at Sanji's honesty. "No, that's not it at all! He—well, he'll probably tell you himself; he's been brooding about it ever since you came aboard. I'll just wait. In the mean time..." he stood up and looked to the door with a grin. "I'm going to go show off my new look!"

"W-wait, how will you explain where you learned—"

"I'll say I bought a book or something, relax!" he laughed over his shoulder as he pranced away, leaving the room silent like the calm after a storm.

Sanji sighed as he collected the items they'd used and put them neatly back in their case. "Where does he get all that energy?" he asked rhetorically.

Moose answered anyway. "He likes to say he leeches it out of me, and that's why I'm so calm."

The chef chuckled. "How did he get fixated on that 'make-up' idea, anyway?"

"I think it started when he spotted a wanted poster for the pirate Eustass Kid. Royal was amazed that someone with such a huge bounty ran around with lipstick and nail polish on. I guess it opened his eyes, and after that he started noticing people like that more and more."

"Yeah, well no one's about to make fun of Kid, not if they want to live to tell the tale. Royal hardly has that benefit. What are you going to do if he gets jumped by a bunch of thugs who don't like his looks? Or Rabid Dan?"

"Well...I guess I'll protect him, then."

"You're a big guy, I'll give you that, but do you know how to fight?"

"I can throw a good punch. Perhaps you could teach me some footwork?"

"You don't think he should learn how to defend _himself_?"

"If he wants. But we've always made an effort to make up for what the other lacks. We're like two peas in a pod who happen to be total opposites."

_Must be nice. Zoro and I are total opposites who can't get along for more than five minutes without going for each other's throats._

"I suppose that works out well for you two, while you're together, but what about when you get older and go your separate ways?"

"Why would we? You already heard about our dreams. We're never going to part."

Sanji sighed, fiddling with the mirror as he tried to figure out where it fit into the case. He liked to think he was a realist, not a cynic, and he knew how important it was to believe in your dreams, but still...

"How can you be so certain? Friends break apart all the time. Fights over women, differences in ideals, lack of effort..." he gazed dolefully into the mirror in his hands. "Broken trust... angry words... how can you know for sure you won't hurt each other down the line?"

"We don't."

Moose seemed content to stop there, forcibly reminding Sanji that the boy wasn't big on conversation. He gestured for him to expand upon the subject.

"I guess...we're just confident in our love for each other."

Sanji just about dropped the mirror, forcing him to perfom an awkward juggle to catch it before it hit the floor. He stared at Moose with wide eyes before forcing out a stiff laugh. "You mean like, best friends?"

"That too."

"That _too_?"

"Well, Joss says we're 'way past best friend territory,' but we're not like Frey, either. We did try making out once, just to see if we could, but it didn't work. There's no point in sex if neither party's interested."

"Make—se—inter—buh?" the blond stuttered incoherently.

"Poor Frey. He was so hoping that we'd prove he wasn't alone, but we couldn't help. We were normal after all."

"_Normal_? How can you call that _normal_?"

"Wow, you really like that word, don't you?"

"I—agh! First of all, how can you say you're in _love_ if you don't... you know... desire the person you're in love with?"

"Gosh. It's not like love and sex are the same thing. Haven't you ever seen poor, homely blokes with gorgeous wives?"

"_Yes_," Sanji hissed, pouting bitterly.

"Same principle, just two-sided."

The cook rubbed his temples, trying to nurse away the headache that was threatening to form. _Somehow, I never imagined I'd end this hell of a day by having a philosophical discussion on the nature of romance with a boy who has a heterosexual life-mate. After having a fight with a man who may-or-may-not be somehow attracted to me._

He paused in his ministrations, peering up at the hulk of a teenager who was currently helping himself to the last apple tart, blissfully relaxed. Suddenly, he really wanted to ask him something.

"What would you do if Royal's new look made him more appealing to you? Or he decides that he likes men after all? What then?"

The boy paused, eyes searching the ceiling for answers as he licked his fingers. "I guess... we could adopt."

Sanji stared in disbelief. "What, just like that? Even though one of you doesn't feel an attraction?"

Moose wiped the last of the crumbs from his lips and stood, closing the make-up kit and picking it up to return it where it belonged. "The funny thing about those ugly men and their beautiful wives," he said as he turned to leave, "is that they always have lots of children."

* * *

Zoro was not in his bunk. This annoyed Sanji, as he had planned on making a great show of ignoring him. An inquiry into his whereabouts quickly revealed that he had kicked Mitch out of the crow's nest, insisting on taking over his watch. This left the cook with an empty bunk beneath him, and a tiny niggling of guilt trying to sneak in past his defenses.

_Stop that. You have nothing to feel sorry for. He was the one in the wrong, he has every reason to punish himself._

-You called him a traitor.

_Crap, not this again. I can be as unreasonable as I damn well please, thank you!_

-No matter what pretty tale Paul might have spun him, you know that Zoro never would have helped if it involved betraying a nakama.

_He _did_ betray me! He told that bastard my weakness._

-How can you call it that, aren't you proud of your respect for food? Don't you flaunt it on a daily basis?

_Well, he still broke our unspoken promise to keep my experience in Kamabakka quiet._

-Paul already knew about that.

_Fine, he plotted to indirectly let others know!_

-In a carefully controlled environment, where only people you've come to trust would hear, for the sole purpose of aiding another.

_Shut up. Let me sulk, dammit._

Sanji buried his face in his pillow, trying to drown out the noise of snoring sailors and the soft chatter of those not yet asleep. That pesky need for air eventually forced him to turn his head, though, which made him recoil in surprise when he found a face in front of his. Joss was peaking over the side of his bunk with an uncertain expression.

"Are you asleep?"

"_Obviously_ not," he responded sourly. "What do you want?"

The younger blond bit his lip. "Can I talk to you?"

Sigh. "Sure, why not? I've already had a heart-to-heart with the other three, what's one more?" He sat up and leaned back against the wall. "Climb on up, have a seat."

Joss quickly scaled the ladder and perched on the edge of the bed. He then proceeded to make things even more uncomfortable by tugging on a loose thread on his sleep shirt and not saying anything.

"I believe you requested a _talk_? Unless you want me to pick a random subject, you'll have to start."

The boy stopped destroying his shirt and looked around to make sure no one was listening. "You said that you were forced to dress up while on the last island, right?" he whispered softly.

"Yes."

"Well... Frey said that Paul said that he saw Zoro kiss an okama while there. That was you, wasn't it."

It was not phrased as a question, so mercifully Sanji didn't have to answer. However, he _really_ didn't like where this conversation was going. "Is there a point to this 'talk?''

"You didn't like what he did."

"Let's just say he would be sporting a bruise across his face if his skin wasn't so dark already."

"But you're still friends."

"That's debatable, especially after this evening." At Joss's stricken look, he amended his sentence with a begrudging "But we may work things out yet."

Slightly mollified, the boy began toying with the loose thread again. "Frey and I have been neighbors our whole lives. We're best friends and always have been. But I don't like men the way he does, and I think of him like a brother. What am I supposed to do if he ever decides he likes me... differently?"

"Ah. I see." Sanji scratched at the scruff on his chin, wondering how he came to play counselor to the trials of adolescent boys. "Yes, that would be a problem. Has he shown any signs of looking at you in an un-brotherly fashion?"

Joss set his jaw, like a person expecting to get scolded for being foolish. "No."

"You know, you're probably in the clear. If he hasn't fallen for you out of familiarity by now, and if that marimo is the type he's attracted to, then you've got nothing to worry about. No offense," he added, noting Joss's wiry frame.

"I know all those things," he muttered, rubbing his arms as if he were cold. "I know them, but I still keep asking myself 'what if, what if?' I don't want to insult him by bringing it up, but I can't stop obsessing over it. I'm so afraid he'll ruin our friendship by falling for me, but I'm also afraid _I'll_ ruin our friendship if he finds out how much I think about this!" He hung his head and hunched his shoulders.

"You could try _not_ thinking about it," Sanji suggested, eyeballing his pillow hopefully. Joss gave him a dirty look, so he sighed and tried to think about it seriously. "Look, if it had been any other guy who tried to acquaint himself with my tonsils, I would have beat him to a pulp and spit on his corpse. Not that anyone else could have gotten that close anyway. The point is, I made an _exception_ for that bastard because I care about him... somehow. You're worried that you'll hurt your friend because you know how you'd react to any _other_ male who came to you with romantic overtures. But likelihood aside, if Frey ever did approach you with that in mind, I know you'd treat him differently. Crap, kid, you jumped into a raging ocean to save him! If your friendship is that important to you, do you really think you'd call it off because he makes you a little uncomfortable?"

"...No... probably not. But what about him? Wouldn't it hurt to have one-sided feelings?"

"Maybe for a while. But he's a teenager after all; someone else will catch his fancy soon enough." _Quite frankly, a sweet kid like Frey's got a lot more options in that respect then Zoro._

At last Joss smiled a little, eyes crinkling in the corners as whatever amusing scene he was imagining played out before him. When he looked up again, Sanji continued. "If you still find yourself dwelling on it, then _talk_ to him. No problem is ever solved by stewing over it by yourself. Frey seems like a caring guy; any hurt he might feel over learning how badly you don't want his affections will surely be outweighed by the concern of making sure his best friend isn't tormenting himself with doubt."

Joss nodded, un-hunching his shoulders and lifting his head. Sanji assumed that was a good sign and made a shooing motion with his hand. "Good. Now that we've got that all straightened out, get the hell off my bed." The boy grinned and hopped easily down, returning to his own bunk with a lighter step. With a sigh that turned into a yawn, the cook flopped back down and tugged the blanket around him.

_Maybe I should take my own advice and talk to Zoro, once and for all._ Sleep pulled at his consciousness, dragging him down into a mishmash of images and words that jumbled and replayed the day's events. _In the morning...perhaps..._

* * *

Zoro did not come to breakfast, either. Sanji was ready to pound his head in, but Frey assured him that the swordsman was just sleeping in late since he took over the entire night watch. _That bastard better not plan on avoiding me for the rest of the journey. For one thing, how will he eat?_

Despite his irritation, the chef set aside a generous portion for the swordsman before it could be eaten by the rest of the crew. Soon the din of clinking silverware and conversation gave way to the sounds of sweeping and scrubbing, and then even that was gone. Sanji gazed around the galley and kitchen, empty and clean with the exception of Zoro's meal. The sight displeased him.

The air on deck was more pleasant, especially with the addition of a calming drag of cigarette smoke. He watched the comings and goings of the ship's denizens with boredom. Dan went into the storage room with a toolbox. Mitch adjusted some sails. Frey's father went up to the crow's nest, relieving Breadon from duty. The teenage quartet fished. Paul chatted with Captain Seeker. Sailors went in or out of the crew's quarters, though there was still no sign of Zoro yet. Restless and impatient, Sanji went through another cigarette. And another.

_How long is that lazy marimo going to sleep? At the rate he's going, saving any food for him was pointess; it'll be lunchtime before he's up._

_Speaking of which_, he thought as he eyed the storage room where the food reserves were kept, _Rabid Dan has been in there an awful long time. Is this a case of him "lying in wait?"_

Partly out of concern, but mostly because he was irritated and wouldn't mind beating the crap out of someone, the blond tossed the stub of his cigarette off the side of the ship and strolled across the deck. Quietly opening the storage room door, he slipped in and let his eyes adjust to the dim light.

Barrels of water, beer, potatoes, fruit, and other various items were lined and stacked against the walls, in many places reaching to the ceiling. There were narrow paths between the organized groups for access, radiating out like spokes from a small open place in the middle. Sanji had kind of hoped to find his target lying in wait down one of the paths, hiding from the view of the doorway, but instead Dan was sitting in plain sight in the center. His toolbox open beside him, he was working on the dehumidifier, which had burned out after overworking itself after the storm.

The overweight man spared Sanji a glance before returning to the business at hand. "Is it that late already?"

Trying not to feel disappointed, the cook maneuvered through the stacks to find the ingredients he would need for the lunch menu he'd planned. "No, I'm just getting started early."

Dan chuckled in a way that made Sanji's hackles rise. "Can't stay out of the kitchen, huh?"

Though the blond was sure it was somehow meant as an insult, Dan hadn't actually said anything wrong, so he tried to ignore it. "We all have our own work to do."

"Speaking of which, what's up with that pal of yours taking over everyone's watch last night? Husband and wife get in a fight?"

Sanji slammed the lid down on a barrel, viciously glad for the chance to get angry. "I'm _nobody's_ wife."

"Touchy about that, aren't you? I bet you're a real firecracker in bed."

"Do you ever say _anything_ that's not a disgusting insinuation?" he sneered.

"We all have our hobbies."

"Well _your_ hobby is ill suited for your vocation. If you can't keep it in your pants from one island to another, perhaps you should consider doing something _else_ for a living."

"I _have_ considered it. In fact, I've been saving up for a while now so I can start a business of my own. Contrary to popular belief, I spend most of my time designing new inventions, not ogling young boys."

"...Oh," Sanji finally responded, some of his anger diminishing.

"Back to my question, though, what's up between you and Zoro? First he's sniffing after you while you tease and flirt, then he's ignoring you and you're sulking. Did he get tired of your games?"

There was so much wrong with that sentence that Sanji didn't know where to begin. "I do not _flirt_ with _men_!"

"So you don't deny he's interested. If you're trying to discourage him, you're doing a poor job of it. I get that he's your only nakama at the moment, but you should probably stop doting on him like a devoted... _husband_... if you really don't want his attention."

"I don't!" Sanji barked, but the moment the words passed his lips they rang false and uncertain in his ears. All this time, in the back of his mind, he'd known his behavior was off in regards to Zoro ever since that kiss. Bringing him seconds at mealtimes without being asked; calmly chatting and eating side by side; fixing him special treats; thinking about him at all hours; those were things he never did back on the Thousand Sunny. In light of what he knew about Zoro, his actions seemed even more inappropriate. So far he had always dismissed it as misplaced kindness before the inevitable breaking of Zoro's heart, but wouldn't that just be making things worse? He should have been cold, should've given the swordsman some space so they could get their emotions in order.

From an outsider's perspective, especially someone with their brain in the gutter like Dan's, it probably _did_ looked like he was leading him on. _Crap! That's exactly what I swore I wouldn't do!_

Dan watched Sanji torment himself with amusement, the dehumidifier forgotten. "If you change your mind about that, I'll be glad to give you some advice in that department. Seeing as you're so keen on not playing the woman and all." He grinned darkly at Sanji's repulsed expression.

"The very notion disgusts me," the chef spat, "and you're the last person I want to discuss this with, so kindly _drop it_." With more force than necessary, he knocked over a barrel of potatoes and deftly rolled it through the narrow aisles to the door with his feet. Leaving it there, he selected a few empty rucksacks and turned back to collect some fruits. Dan picked up a wrench and tinkered halfheartedly on the device in front of him, but his eyes were tracking the blond as he stomped back and forth. The longer he watched, the more appraising his gaze became.

_I hate that look_, Sanji thought as his hands began trembling with fury. _I hated it when men looked at me like that back on the Baratie, and I hate it still. Like vultures staring at a piece of meat. I know I do the same thing to women; that's why I try so hard to make up for it. But there's no respect or honor in eyes like his, just filthy lust and a desire to defile._

_Not like Zoro._

Patience snapping, Sanji's hands paused as he slowly turned to face the leer of Rabid Dan. He watched with smug satisfaction as the grin faded from the fat lips, a defensive and slightly worried frown taking its place. "What? I ain't doing nothing."

"Yet," the cook replied coolly as he began advancing on the scum before him. _I did come in here looking for a fight, after all._

"Like hell! I'd never lay a finger on you, not with your boyfriend always breathing down my neck."

Sanji almost missed a step, startled but not really surprised at the man's confession. _I didn't know the marimo was doing that. _But that brought up another point. "Let me guess. You'd be laying fingers and more on Frey, Joss, and Royal if Paul wasn't guarding them like a hawk."

Dan let out a harrumph. "And damn it all if Royal doesn't have Moose, too. Did you _see_ what he was wearing at breakfast this morning? He needs all the guards he can... get..." Belatedly he realized that perhaps honesty was _not_ the best policy in this situation. Stumbling to his feet, the fat man retreated cautiously, hands held protectively in front of him. "Hey, now, let's not get physical."

"But I thought you _loved_ getting physical," the chef responded, tucking his hands safely into his pockets. Dan retreated further until he realized he had chosen one of the dead-end paths, not the one leading to the door. Face darkening, he chucked the wrench he was still holding at Sanji's head, but it was deftly deflected by thick boots. Breaking into a fearful sweat as his back met the wall, he began digging into his pockets for more objects to throw at the source of his impending doom. A small oil canister, a screwdriver and a drawstring pouch all arced in succession towards the menacing face, only to be kicked aside one by one.

Well, except for the pouch. It exploded under the force of Sanji's strike, showering him in a cloud of powder. Coughing but refusing to look away, he peered through the dust so he could see the next attack.

It didn't come. Dan was staring at him in open-mouthed disbelief, shock plainly written across his face. "Do you know how much that _cost_? What it could've fetched from the right buyer?"

Removing his hands from his pockets, the blond waved the remaining particles out of his vision. "If it means so much to you, then don't go throwing it at people." He took another step forward only to be surprised by the heaviness of his feet. Without thinking he caught the edge of a crate for balance, then realized his mistake when he caught Dan's sly, considering gaze.

"On the other hand, isn't this what you call a 'once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?' I'd hate to let that stuff go to waste," he mumbled, wiping the sweat from his face with a dirty handkerchief. His eyes traveled speculatively up and down the cook's body, foul excitement clearly overtaking his sense of self-preservation. "Maybe... it might be worth it?"

Sanji saw red.

* * *

Zoro wandered out of the galley, licking the last of his breakfast off his lips. He'd hoped to be able to gauge the kuso-cook's mood while he ate, but the bastard hadn't been in the kitchen. A quick glance around the deck also failed to reveal the blond's location. With a sigh, the swordsman strolled over to where the four boys were fishing.

"Any bites?"

"A few," Joss said, clearly bored. Frey wiggled his pole a little with his one hand, frustrated. Even if a fish did take the bait, someone else would have to help him reel it in. Royal appeared to have completely fallen asleep leaning against the shoulder of Moose, who was holding both of their fishing rods.

"If you're looking for Sanji, he's in the storage room," the soft-spoken boy mentioned. His snoozing companion stirred at the sound of his voice, lifting his head and blinking blearily out at the ocean. Moose shifted both poles to one hand.

"Didn't he go in there a long time ago?" Frey piped up. "Surely he already left by now." Royal lifted his hands to rub at his eyes, only to be stopped by the one Moose had just freed. "You'll smear your make-up," he explained, and suddenly the boy was fully awake.

"I never saw him come out, I'm pretty sure he's still in there," Joss said. Royal paused in the process of taking his pole back from Moose. "Are we talking about Rabid Dan?"

"No, Sanji. Why, is he in there too?"

"Yeah, he went in there to fix something a long time ago. I remember because he was admiring my new look a little _too_ much as he walked by."

As one, five heads turned to stare at the storage room door.

"You don't suppose... something happened?" Frey asked nervously.

"_Che_. That jerk is perfectly capable of taking care of himself," Zoro scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, but doesn't Rabid Dan still have that Doll Powder? Paul would have told us if he finally found it," Royal said, biting his glossy lip in concern. "Even Sanji would be in trouble if that got used on him."

"Dan wouldn't _dare_," Zoro growled. "He and I have already had a little discussion about what would happen if he doesn't get rid of that crap at the next port." Yet even as he said it, a sliver of doubt crept into his mind. The boys had already established that Sanji had been in there longer than necessary. Somehow he doubted that the two of them were capable of a civilized conversation for any extended length of time.

The boys looked at him with a mixture of concern and hope. Brow wrinkling, Zoro glared at the door. "Then again, I could use a drink," he muttered.

* * *

The green-haired man wasn't sure what he was expecting to see upon slipping quietly into the dim room, but what he got was Sanji seated casually on a crate, leaning back against a lumpy sack and chewing on an unlit cigarette with Dan's bruised, unconscious body at his feet. He arched an eyebrow at the sight. "Dare I ask what happened here?"

"We had an intellectual disagreement," Sanji said sarcastically. "Dare I ask why you're sneaking into the storage room?"

"Getting more beer."

"Not this early in the day, you're not. Take a hike."

Zoro stifled a smile, absurdly relieved to find his nakama safe and sound. Well, relatively. It did not escape his notice that, aside from his head and expressive face, the cook had not moved a muscle.

_I guess it didn't occur to Dan how much damage Sanji could inflict before his drug finished taking effect._ He glared at the battered lump of a man as he stepped forward, purposely ignoring the way Sanji bared his teeth like a wounded animal as he got closer. _Guess he still doesn't trust me after yesterday, not that I can blame him_, he thought sadly.

They stared at each other as Zoro awkwardly searched for a conversation opener. He settled upon the cigarette. "Um. Need a light?"

"In here, where the food is kept? Don't be crass."

They exchanged glares. _Come on Zoro, you were hunting him down for a reason! Just open your mouth and say you're sorry. You've seen other people do it, it can't be that hard._ He cleared his throat and opened his mouth, but the words escaped him. Just like displaying emotions freely, apologizing was something that did not come naturally to him.

"I... guess I'll just take out the trash, then," he settled on gruffly, taking a handful of Dan's shirt and dragging him across the floor. Kicking open the door, he tossed the body onto the deck and turned to look back at the blond once more. With the brightness of the late morning sun catching his eyes, though, all he could see in the storage room were shadows. "Perhaps I'll work out on this side of the deck today."

_No one else is entering this room until you're better._

"Wait."

It was a command, but there was a hint of uncertainty underlying it. Zoro paused before stepping back inside, closing the door behind him so his eyes could readjust. Sanji was staring imperiously at him with his visible eye, looking for all the world like his current position was intentional and he just didn't feel like moving at the moment.

"Let's have a rematch." Seeing the swordsman's hesitation, he clarified. "A Pick Your Poison rematch. Two-player version, open rules. What do you say?"

Uncertain where the chef was trying to go with this, but glad for any opportunity to settle things between them, he grunted his assent and moved to the center of the room, pulling up a barrel for a seat in front of Sanji. They faced off in silence.

"I assume you're going first?" Zoro finally asked.

"Naturally." More silence. Realizing the jerk was just trying to make him sweat, he crossed his arms and gazed back coolly, refusing to be intimidated.

With a sniff of disdain, Sanji finally began. "Tell me, marimo. When you look at me, what kind of person do you see? Versus walk out that door and don't bother coming back."

_I see, so that's how this game is going to go_. Shifting a bit to get more comfortable, his eyes slipped out of focus as he began listing off everything that came to mind. "I see an annoying bastard who lives to piss me off. Someone who takes care of his friends and takes pride in his work. A man who smiles when he's happy and cries when he's sad. Someone who takes no crap from any man, and all the crap he can take from any woman. A person who knows he looks good but isn't a prick about it. An amazing cook and an equal fighter, but don't expect to me to admit _those_ ever again. A man with a noble dream. A nakama."

He focused on Sanji's face again, wondering if he had said enough yet. The blond's expression was unreadable, and he didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. "Is that all?" came the carefully neutral response.

_No, but if I stare too long we're both going to get embarrassed real fast_, he thought as he shifted for an entirely different reason. "You only asked what kind of _person_ I see," he muttered, avoiding a real answer.

The corner of Sanji's lips twitched with amusement, and his mood seemed to soften. "Then I guess it's your turn. Try not to ask the impossible of me."

_In other words, no dares_. Sucking in his breath, he glared at his crossed arms and struggled to spit out what he came for. "Regarding last night. If I were to... apologize... what would you say?"

Nothing, apparently. When no answer was forthcoming, he dared to look up again only to find the cook looking at him with his curly brow arched. "Don't I get a second option?"

"Buy me the moon," he responded instantly.

Sanji burst out laughing. The sound seemed to pierce straight through Zoro's chest, causing his heart to beat faster and filling his body with fire. A tear of mirth glistened in the corner of the blond's eye, and it was all the swordsman could do to keep his hand from reaching out and wiping it away. "I'm fairly certain that qualifies as an impossible dare," he chuckled. "Well, I'll let it slide just this once." The droplet trailed down the side of his face, only to be dried on the shoulder of his suit by a quick twist of the neck. Tossing his head to shake his hair back into place, Sanji looked back into Zoro's eyes and tried to regain his earlier seriousness. "To answer your question; I would _probably_ tell you not to worry about it, and that I _might_ have overreacted. You know... _if_ you were to apologize." He gave a little smile that seemed part amused, part forgiving, and partially apologetic himself.

Zoro let out a soft breath, uncrossing his arms and assuming a less defensive position. "I suppose that makes it your turn again." At Sanji's almost _wicked_ grin, though, the swordsman knew he had relaxed too soon.

"Well then... _Zoro_," he began, rolling the 'r' so richly as he addressed him by name that Zoro felt an electric thrill shoot up and down his spine, "tell me _how_ you feel about me, vs. walk out that door and don't bother coming back."

* * *

_There's an 'oh, crap' expression if ever I saw one_, Sanji thought as he watched Zoro squirm with no small delight. Okay, maybe he hadn't _quite_ forgiven the jerk yet for last night, but seeing him suffer through a similar crisis was going a long way toward that. A cold sweat was beading on the swordsman's brow, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

But his eyes never once shifted to the door.

Before Sanji had asked his first question, he didn't really know what he was testing for. Zoro's answer had been full of insults, keen observations, complaints, and reluctant but sincere praise. In all, the answer was a reflection on the man who spoke it; brusque, coarse, unabashedly honest, surprisingly tender, and unexpectedly charming.

It was easy to get mad at someone like that, but hard to stay that way.

The green-haired man was still struggling, and not just because the words were hard to say. "Are you sure that's the question you want to ask?" he offered, trying to give Sanji one last chance to change his mind.

_Yeah, I know you were willing to pretend nothing was different, just for my sake. But you know what? I don't _want_ you to. Maybe I'm just a selfish person who hates seeing you play the noble good-guy while I get my way. Maybe I value romance too much, even if you don't. Maybe..._

For a moment Sanji looked away, introspection stealing his senses. With Rabid Dan's horrid leer still fresh in his mind, he should have had no trouble recovering his old disgust over the notion of a man's touch, yet it wouldn't come; not in relation to Zoro.

"Yeah. That's the question I want."

Zoro sighed, placing his hands together as if in prayer and leaning over, his face hidden as he rubbed his forehead against the tips of his fingers. "I..."

For some reason, the cook couldn't breathe. Even though he had left the man no escape, he still couldn't believe that he was actually saying it.

"I... like you... more than a nakama should." He stilled the movement of his head as he waited for the inevitable rejection, whether it be kindly or mocking.

"It's your turn," Sanji whispered, his voice having lost all volume.

Zoro barked a tiny, self-mocking laugh. "Fine then. How do _you_ feel about _me_? Versus let's pretend this never happened."

The blond leaned his head back, staring at the low ceiling. No one was allowed to lie when answering a question in this game, but what was the truth? "I... don't know. Not so long ago I would have had an easy answer, yet now I can't explain my own thoughts and actions." Zoro's head lifted just enough for his piercing eyes to peer out from under the shadow of his brows.

_Why didn't I give us space? Why did I seek him out daily, be it to fight or talk, when I knew it would only push him to his realization faster?_

_Why did I bask under his attention? Did I think of it like a victory in our perpetual squabbles, or was getting his attention the only reason I bickered with him in the first place?_

_I've never been able to defeat him, or out-do him, and I always worry that I look like less of a man next to him. Am I somehow trying to "acquire" him in order to sooth my ego?_

_Am I that protective of Frey's feelings, a boy I've known for barely a week, or do I simply not want Zoro to look at anyone else? I've never thought of myself as a jealous person, but have I ever thought of anyone as "mine?"_

_Where did this possessiveness come from? Because we're separated from the rest of our crew and he's all I have left? Or do I..._

The blond forced himself to speak again. "I've heard it said," _and damn it all if I'll admit I took advice from a younger man_, "that sexual desire and romantic love are completely different things. It makes me wonder if the reason I'm trying so hard to find an excuse not to turn you down is because... I care for you too much as well." He rushed on before the swordsman's eyes could fill with hope. "But then I also wonder... maybe I just _want_ to feel that way rather than admit what a horrible, greedy _parasite_ I am!"

He spat out his last words with a force that surprised himself, dropping his cigarette and bitting his lip to prevent anymore self-depreciating drivel from spewing out. Something trickled down his cheek and he realized another tear had escaped his control, thanks to his desperate confusion. _So pathetic!_

Once again, Sanji was rescued from the mire of his thoughts by the warmth strength of a pair of caring hands. A calloused thumb brushed the moist trail from his cheek as they guided him to meet Zoro's gaze.

_Ah, there it is, that feeling that keeps dancing just out of reach. I wonder, did I come by it from looking too deeply into those pitch-black eyes?_

The swordsman had moved to sit beside him on the crate, twisting his torso so they could speak face-to-face. "You're nothing of the sort," came the confident voice. "I _know_ you, Sanji. Your mind may move in mysterious ways, but your heart is an open book. If you're clouded by doubt, then let's clear the air. You want me to try, right? That's what you really meant last night when you shouted it out, wasn't it?"

Numb with the realization, Sanji nodded slowly, not wanting to jostle away the comforting touch.

"Then I'll try. Take all the time you need, I can handle it. And if in the end you just can't feel the same, well... I can handle that too." He gave a sad little smile.

_You shouldn't have to _handle_ anything. You don't always have to be the strong one, you know. You deserve the chance to relax just like everyone else. Can't I do that much for you?_

Picking up his scattered wits, the chef cleared his throat and regained his composure. "You know, this won't change the way I treat the ladies."

Zoro snorted and dropped his hands. "I would be shocked if it did."

"I had a _very_ strict upbringing—"

"I know."

"And my eyes may wander."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Just so we understand. I wouldn't want to go into this with false pretenses."

"I get it already!"

"Good! Good. In that case I do believe it is my turn."

"Oh yeah, that. Well, fire away, then."

He raised his head as commandingly as he had when he ordered the rematch. "Kiss me."

It was very satisfying to see Zoro's jaw drop incredulously. "Seriously?"

"I can't kick the crap out of you right now, can I? It's the perfect opportunity to see how good a kisser you are."

"You couldn't tell on Kamabakka?"

"I wasn't exactly paying attention to your technique at the time."

"...What about my second option?"

"You don't get one."

Zoro chuckled. "Well then, if his highness insists, who am I to refuse?" Supporting himself with an arm against the sack that served as Sanji's backrest, the swordsman leaned in, enveloping the blond in the scent of oil and leather. He paused for one last moment, as if memorizing the scene for posterity, then pressed their lips together.

It wasn't a woman's kiss, that was certain. Women, at least all the ones Sanji knew, had much softer skin, glossier lips, and a sweeter fragrance. He couldn't exactly say it was a _man's_ kiss either, because the only reference he had was himself, and he would have kissed a woman as gently and tenderly as possible (he hoped.)

There was tenderness here, but there was also passion, and longing, and an aggression that demanded a reaction. What Zoro lacked in polish, he more than made up for in enthusiasm. Sanji's lips had begun kissing back without even bothering to ask his mind for permission, instinctively responding to the challenge a Zoro Kiss demanded.

The swordsman's free hand had trailed up into his hair, running his fingers through it over and over. _What is his obsession with my hair? Not that I mind. That feels really... good..._ His own hands had recovered enough movement to slide up and encircle Zoro's broad back, grabbing a fistful of plain, white shirt in each hand before his strength could leave him and waste his effort. He wanted to pull him closer, so much _closer_!

Zoro's breathing became labored, and Sanji flushed at the realization of what his touch and actions must be doing to the man's body. They broke the kiss without moving any further apart, gasping for air as they took in the flush painting each other's faces.

"Well," the green-haired man asked, dilated eyes searching for answers in Sanji's own. "Did you find out if I'm a good kisser or not?"

"Not yet," Sanji replied after he found his voice again. "I think I'll need another example. For comparison."

He couldn't say for sure why his heart suddenly skipped a beat, but process of elimination claimed it had to have been from Zoro's roguish grin.

* * *

Sanji had to choose something much quicker and simpler to make for lunch, but it looked like it would be done in time thanks to the aid of his gaggle of helpers. That (sort of) made up for the slew of questions they kept pestering him with.

"Did Rabid Dan try to pull something?"

"Are you okay?"

"You and Zoro spent an awful long time in there. Did you get in a fight? You looked pretty ruffled when you came out."

"What did you guys talk about? You're sure in a good mood."

"Well, I _was_," Sanji retorted, but he didn't mean it. Like an oppressive burden had been lifted off his back after laboring under it for days, he felt lighter than air. He was currently humming as he pulled out a stack of plates, his movements as he stepped deftly around his underfoot assistants almost like a dance. Even the appearance of Paul couldn't dampen his spirits, the older man having entered the galley to inform everyone of Rabid Dan's condition.

"The doctor says he'll be fine once the swelling goes down, but he'll have to avoid any heavy work until the bruises on his ribs heal. I don't know what you did to him, Sanji, and don't tell anyone I said this, but thanks. Dan claims he "can't take it anymore," and is going to go ahead and start up that business he's always talking about as soon as he can get off this ship."

There was a burst of rejoicing, ranging from a relieved sigh (Moose) to leaping on tables and crowing (Royal.) Paul ruffled Frey's hair, who stuck his tongue out at him as he patted it back down but couldn't stop grinning ear to ear.

"Even more things to celebrate?" Sanji exclaimed. "That settles it; lets bring out an extra barrel of beer for lunch today!"

Zoro seemed particularly thrilled by this announcement. The rest were a bit confused, though, and Frey piped up. "What else are we celebrating?"

For a moment Sanji froze; his instinctual reaction being to deny, deny, deny. Something caught his attention, though; Paul trying very hard to look like he was minding his own business, yet surreptitiously peeking at him from the corner of his eye. Paul, who took anyone with troubles under his wing.

_Normally I would never tell anyone that I was dating a man, even if I knew that hiding it would be hard on Zoro, would plague him with doubt over the seriousness of my intentions. But I've already told these people my most embarrassing secret, and I know very personal things about them as well. There's no reason not to tell the truth, and quite frankly, living under the fear of my last secret nearly drove me crazy._

_You don't suppose Paul noticed that, do you? No way could he have been trying to prepare me for this. That's giving him too much credit! It's already a stretch to think that he might have formed his plan—not so I would talk to Royal and Joss—but so Moose would talk to _me.

Noticing the attentive audience still waiting for his answer, Sanji cleared his throat. Zoro was studiously looking away, not wanting to guilt him into saying something he wasn't ready for yet, and his consideration deserved recognition. "Actually, the marimo and I have decided to... that is, we are now... I mean," he coughed, and realized he was turning red. The swordsman looked up in amazement, and the surprised hope on his face made the cook's heart skip again. "Dating," he finished, the word taking advantage of his distraction to escape.

There was a moment of silence as the boys processed the revelation, and then the couple were surrounded.

"Oh, Zoro-san, Sanji-san, that's _wonderful_!" Frey exclaimed, fluttering between the two of them like an overstimulated butterfly. "I had so hoped, I really had! I'm _so_ happy!"

"Nice job letting me down, there," Joss said to Sanji with an over-dramatic sigh. He smiled a little as he shook his head and waved off Frey's confused look, so the chef knew he wasn't _that_ disappointed. "I'll explain later," he assured his best friend.

Royal was giving them one of his dreamy looks. "I did wonder if perhaps you two could succeed where we failed. You have such a delicious _tension_..."

Moose quickly came and steered his sort-of-boyfriend away. "Now, now, try not to creep them out unnecessarily," he murmured, having noticed the expressions on the hitchhikers' faces. He gave the two of them a congratulatory nod, which they accepted with better grace.

Paul hovered in the background, wanting to offer his praise but unsure if he was still in Sanji's bad graces. The chef pinned him with a cool eye, a frown creasing his lips. "Well then. _Paul_," he drawled, "are you happy _now_?"

"Yes, actually," the man replied, infuriatingly calm as always. For the first time, though, Sanji realized the sailor's poker face wasn't perfect. His freckles, so much paler then those of his shy brother, actually seemed to grow a little darker as the blood left his face; the only sign of his agitation.

The blond raised his chin. "Good. I'm glad. Because you're on serving duty until further notice."

Joss actually snorted before he could catch himself, and Paul's glare in his direction only made him burst out laughing. Royal gave the man a mocking pat on the back, and Frey hurriedly assured his brother that he would help. Paul bowed his head and moved reluctantly behind the serving table with his sibling; the meddling duo complete.

"Now then," Sanji said much more brightly, with a clap of his hands. "I do believe a barrel of beer needs to be fetched, and the dinner bell rung."

"I'll get the bell!" Royal shouted as he darted for the door before anyone else could even respond. Moose shook his head as he and Joss left for the storage room. Zoro decided to get first dibs on lunch, despite having finished his breakfast not that long ago, and shoved a plate under Paul's nose. The man sighed, already resigned to his fate.

Sanji leaned back against the counter, waiting for the crowd that would soon flood the galley thanks to the sound of enthusiastic ringing. _How far a life can change in only a week_, he thought with mild amazement. He caught Zoro's eyes and they briefly exchanged smiles colored with anticipation.

_I can't say for sure if I'm... in love... not yet._

_But isn't it a miracle that now I can't wait to find out?_

~Fin~

* * *

It's over! I hope I managed to stay believable up to the end. A sequel seems likely, but don't expect one anytime soon, as I need a break and don't have any good ideas yet, anyway. I'd like to change settings, but I'm not sure I want to have them reach Sabaody yet. I was kind of hoping not to tread into unknown territory and get the story _completely_ discredited when the manga moves on past the current story arc. Perhaps they should run into their other nakama, one by one? I don't know, feel free to provide suggestions.

Well, what did you think of this chapter, or the story as a whole? Surely there was something you liked enough to mention? Hated enough to mention? Were indifferent to enought to... wait, that doesn't work. :P Penny for your thoughts?


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